Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category

Send in Jack Bauer!

Dad: Honey, where’s your teddy bear?
3‑year-old girl: Oh, the terrorist are hiding him.

Overlake Hospital
Bellevue, Washington

Overheard by: Nurse says what

…And Help Me Swipe Wallets.

Woman to child: Some people are just wicked. Put that pumpkin back.

Wal-Mart
Aberdeen, Washington

When Bluetooth Went Youtooth

Employee accompanied by small child: I smashed it on the ground and then I hit it with a chair, and now it feels like it’s on fire. It’s not, but it feels that way.
Small child: (inaudible)
Employee: No, I don’t think any blood’s coming out.

Redmond, Washington

Twelve Full Months of Scary Doll Eyes

Worker: Hello! Are you looking for anything in particular?
Eight-year-old boy: Barbie!

Calendar kiosk, Victoria Mall
Victoria, Texas

At Least He’s Stopped Asking When He’ll Go to Hogwarts

Four-year-old kid to dad: Dad, how old will I be when I’m a Jedi knight?

Barnes & Noble
Manhasset, New York

Overheard by: Jen

‘… But Tomorrow Morning Will Be a Different Story’?

Little girl #1: I love you! How do you spell ‘you?’ Is it Y‑E-S?
Little girl #2: Nuh-uh. [Pause] Y‑O-U.
Little girl #1: Ohhh. How do you spell ‘I love you tonight’?

Greenfield, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Lea

Well, Except for Everybody Else

Kid: You know, if Europe and the US teamed together the entire world could be white.

675 27^th Street
Chicago, Illinois

Or at Least the Part He’s Kissing

Girl: Auntie Dee*, how did you know Uncle Frank* was in there.
Auntie Dee: Well, Molly*, he’s not in the waiting room, so he has to be in there with the doctor.
Boy peering in window to exam rooms: He’s kissing that nurse like he knows her!

Doctor’s office
Ridgewood, New Jersey

Overheard by: Patiently Waiting