Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category

I Got That Ages Ago

Mom: Oooh, guess what I got while I was in At­lanta yes­ter­day?
Daugh­ter, fak­ing ex­cite­ment: Her­pes?!
Mom: No, I got– Wait, what?!


Over­heard by: P‑Nuckle

When Blue­tooth Went Youtooth

Em­ploy­ee ac­com­pa­nied by small child: I smashed it on the ground and then I hit it with a chair, and now it feels like it’s on fire. It’s not, but it feels that way.
Small child: (in­audi­ble)
Em­ploy­ee: No, I don’t think any blood­’s com­ing out.

Red­mond, Wash­ing­ton

All They’re Good for Is Com­mit­ting Bank Rob­beries

Woman: Be still, we have to wait for our turn.
Kid: Why are we here?
Woman: We’re re­turn­ing a pack­age.
Kid: Why?
Woman: Be­cause I don’t want it.
Kid: What’s in it?
Woman: I don’t know. I think it’s panty­hose.
Kid: You don’t want the panty­hose?
Woman: No, I don’t want the panty­hose.
Kid: Why?
Woman: Be­cause panty­hose are evil.

Post of­fice
Le­an­der, Texas

Over­heard by: Fae­do­rah