Woman: Be still, we have to wait for our turn.
Kid: Why are we here?
Woman: We’re returning a package.
Kid: Why?
Woman: Because I don’t want it.
Kid: What’s in it?
Woman: I don’t know. I think it’s pantyhose.
Kid: You don’t want the pantyhose?
Woman: No, I don’t want the pantyhose.
Kid: Why?
Woman: Because pantyhose are evil.
Post office
Leander, Texas
Overheard by: Faedorah
Stylist: Do you like your haircut, buddy?
Little boy: [Silence.]Stylist: Do you know who would like your haircut? SpongeBob.
Little boy: … I’m not stupid.
Barbershop
Noblesville, Indiana
Worker: Hello! Are you looking for anything in particular?
Eight-year-old boy: Barbie!
Calendar kiosk, Victoria Mall
Victoria, Texas
Four-year-old kid to dad: Dad, how old will I be when I'm a Jedi knight?
Barnes & Noble
Manhasset, New York
Overheard by: Jen
Little girl #1: I love you! How do you spell ‘you?’ Is it Y-E-S?
Little girl #2: Nuh-uh. [Pause] Y-O-U.
Little girl #1: Ohhh. How do you spell ‘I love you tonight’?
Greenfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Lea
Kid: You know, if Europe and the US teamed together the entire world could be white.
675 27th Street
Chicago, Illinois
Eight-year-old girl running up to her mother in line: I’m 13, and you don’t know me!
JC Penney
Eugene, Oregon
Girl: Auntie Dee*, how did you know Uncle Frank* was in there.
Auntie Dee: Well, Molly*, he’s not in the waiting room, so he has to be in there with the doctor.
Boy peering in window to exam rooms: He’s kissing that nurse like he knows her!
Doctor’s office
Ridgewood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Patiently Waiting
VP to secretary's six-year-old daughter: “Hot fireman,” as in “cute” or as in “sweaty”?
568 Broadway, NYC
Father to son about to eat crayons: No, no, no! Crayons aren't for eating!
Four-year-old boy: But I eat them at school!
Everett, Washington
Overheard by: Hopes their food comes up soon