Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category

I Got That Ages Ago

Mom: Oooh, guess what I got while I was in Atlanta yesterday?
Daughter, faking excitement: Herpes?!
Mom: No, I got– Wait, what?!

Mall
Georgia

Overheard by: P‑Nuckle

5PM That’s a Wrap

Employee: Hey! Doesn’t your ma get you anything from the Easter bunny?
Supervisor: It’s been years since I’ve gotten anything.
Employee’s boy: You live with your mom?
Supervisor: So what? So do you!
Employee’s boy: No, I don’t.
Supervisor: Huh?…Oh…Ah, shit.

6101 Wetzel Avenue
Fort Carson, Colorado

Whatever, Mister “I Believe in Santa”

Stylist: Do you like your haircut, buddy?
Little boy: [Silence.]Stylist: Do you know who would like your haircut? SpongeBob.
Little boy: … I’m not stupid.

Barbershop
Noblesville, Indiana

Suzy Goes Predator-Trolling to Amuse Herself

Eight-year-old girl running up to her mother in line: I’m 13, and you don’t know me!

JC Penney
Eugene, Oregon

Then We Empty the Can Into a Volcano

Son, pointing to a tip can: Mom, what’s that?
Mom: That’s where they put all the naughty kids that are bothering the parents.
Son: No they don’t!
Mom: It’s true, you can ask the lady.
Grocery bagger: Yup, your mom’s right.

Kailua, Hawaii

Overheard by: Worker #43

Now Make him Define Irony!

Brother: Is he dead?
Brother’s friend’s brother: I think he’s asleep.
Brother: Hey, you awake?
Brother’s friend’s brother: Hey! Say something.
Brother’s friend: Make me.

Mishawaka, Indiana

Overheard by:

And What about Graverobbers? Sometimes They’ll Kill You Just to Get Your Jewelry

Girl #1: It’s so scary hearing about people dying.
Girl #2: Yeah, totally… You can die from so many things. You can die from death, sickness…

Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: elle

Tupac’s Propaganda Machine, on the Other Hand, Is Alive and Thriving

Counselor: Is that a Tupac T‑shirt? You’re five. Tupac wasn’t alive when you were born. What do you know about Tupac?
Kid: I know the haters killed him.
Counselor: Touché.

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: SB