Mom: Oooh, guess what I got while I was in Atlanta yesterday?
Daughter, faking excitement: Herpes?!
Mom: No, I got– Wait, what?!
Mall
Georgia
Overheard by: P‑Nuckle
Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category
Tupac’s Propaganda Machine, on the Other Hand, Is Alive and Thriving
Counselor: Is that a Tupac T‑shirt? You’re five. Tupac wasn’t alive when you were born. What do you know about Tupac?
Kid: I know the haters killed him.
Counselor: Touché.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: SB
Send in Jack Bauer!
Dad: Honey, where’s your teddy bear?
3‑year-old girl: Oh, the terrorist are hiding him.
Overlake Hospital
Bellevue, Washington
Overheard by: Nurse says what
…And Help Me Swipe Wallets.
Woman to child: Some people are just wicked. Put that pumpkin back.
Wal-Mart
Aberdeen, Washington
When Bluetooth Went Youtooth
Employee accompanied by small child: I smashed it on the ground and then I hit it with a chair, and now it feels like it’s on fire. It’s not, but it feels that way.
Small child: (inaudible)
Employee: No, I don’t think any blood’s coming out.
Redmond, Washington
All They’re Good for Is Committing Bank Robberies
Woman: Be still, we have to wait for our turn.
Kid: Why are we here?
Woman: We’re returning a package.
Kid: Why?
Woman: Because I don’t want it.
Kid: What’s in it?
Woman: I don’t know. I think it’s pantyhose.
Kid: You don’t want the pantyhose?
Woman: No, I don’t want the pantyhose.
Kid: Why?
Woman: Because pantyhose are evil.
Post office
Leander, Texas
Overheard by: Faedorah
Whatever, Mister “I Believe in Santa”
Stylist: Do you like your haircut, buddy?
Little boy: [Silence.]Stylist: Do you know who would like your haircut? SpongeBob.
Little boy: … I’m not stupid.
Barbershop
Noblesville, Indiana
Twelve Full Months of Scary Doll Eyes
Worker: Hello! Are you looking for anything in particular?
Eight-year-old boy: Barbie!
Calendar kiosk, Victoria Mall
Victoria, Texas
At Least He’s Stopped Asking When He’ll Go to Hogwarts
Four-year-old kid to dad: Dad, how old will I be when I’m a Jedi knight?
Barnes & Noble
Manhasset, New York
Overheard by: Jen
‘… But Tomorrow Morning Will Be a Different Story’?
Little girl #1: I love you! How do you spell ‘you?’ Is it Y‑E-S?
Little girl #2: Nuh-uh. [Pause] Y‑O-U.
Little girl #1: Ohhh. How do you spell ‘I love you tonight’?
Greenfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Lea
