Company owner: Okay, so I haven’t heard a real definition of ‘bad touch’ yet…
111 Oak Street
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Archive for the ‘Kansas’ Category
Well, It’s Like I Always Say: Children Come First
Male bank president: My daughter’s gonna letter in high school track this year.
Female vice president: Oh?
Male bank president: Yeah, she’s a runner. All year I’ve been taking her out on country roads to let her spread her legs.
Female vice president, under her breath: Putz!
1105 Vargas Street
Atwood, Kansas
Which Is Just Below “C Why You’re Still Stuck in Kansas”
College professor: I feel like giving them an “e” for effort. Of course we all know that an “e” is right above an “f” for “fucking stupid” and right below the “d” for “dang near fucking stupid.”
Emporia, Kansas
11AM Update Data
Co-worker: He’s either “dead” or “passed away.”
9111 East Douglas Avenue
Wichita, Kansas
Overheard by: Nate
You Get Used to Double-Entry Is the Best I Can Say
Receptionist: You can do that while you’re sleeping?!
Accounting girl: Well, yeah.
Receptionist: … Does it feel good?
Accounting girl: [Shrugs.]
Hutchinson, Kansas
Overheard by: The Temp
Though the Russian Judge Only Gave Her a “6”
Woman in bathroom stall to woman in neighboring stall: Yeah, she the one who did my son’s circumcision. She did a bang up job.
Olathe, Kansas
Sign: Don’t Bother the Employees at Feeding Time
Cube monkey, eating alone at desk and coughing: Quit trying to eat yourself!
Overland Park, Kansas
4PM Seal Windows
Assistant: Oh my god, your caulk is dripping!
5001 East Harry Street
Wichita, Kansas
That Was Unworthy of You, Betty
HR rep to coworker: I could, like, totally get a raise if I slept with him.
Coworker: Haven’t you already?
Leavenworth, Kansas
Patient: Hey! It’s Damn Cold in This Paper Gown
Physician: What can you tell me about this X‑ray?
Student: It’s a male pelvis with two fractures.
Physician: It’s shaped like a male pelvis, but it’s not.
Student: How can you tell?
Physician: The lack of a penis outline on the X‑ray helps.
Emergency Room, University of Kansas Hospital
Kansas City, Kansas
Overheard by: Stifling the Laugh
