Nurse: Thanks for taking out the trash. I’ve been a nurse for so long I don’t have a sense of smell anymore. You could roll in roadkill and I wouldn’t notice.
15001 Quivira Road
Overland Park, Kansas
Overheard by: Naomi
Archive for the ‘Kansas’ Category
Dr., Have You Noticed That the Men in This Ward Have Seizures Every Weekday Afternoon?
Old man worker #1, across the room: Is the softball team jumping around again?
Old man worker #2, looking out the window: No, they’re running now.
Old man worker #1: That’s just as good.
College Boulevard
Overland Park, Kansas
The Bridges of Heisenberg County
Boss: Well, we’ll come to that bridge when we cross it.
Assistant: I would certainly hope so.
Boss: What?
Assistant: Nothing.
Kansas
Thank God for Instant Replay
Coworker: I can’t remember if he used two fingers or three…
Metcalf Avenue
Overland Park, Kansas
“There’s No Room at the Inn, Bitcheeesss!”
National sales director, about company Christmas tree contest: Fuck needy people. This is about Christmas!
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Or I Could Just Steal One from the Shopping Center
Coworker #1: Artificial insemination?
Coworker #2: That way I could have a kid without whoring myself around as much.
Kansas
In Unrelated News, We Were Voted the Most Abusive Company of 2006
Company owner: Okay, so I haven’t heard a real definition of ‘bad touch’ yet…
111 Oak Street
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Well, It’s Like I Always Say: Children Come First
Male bank president: My daughter’s gonna letter in high school track this year.
Female vice president: Oh?
Male bank president: Yeah, she’s a runner. All year I’ve been taking her out on country roads to let her spread her legs.
Female vice president, under her breath: Putz!
1105 Vargas Street
Atwood, Kansas
Which Is Just Below “C Why You’re Still Stuck in Kansas”
College professor: I feel like giving them an “e” for effort. Of course we all know that an “e” is right above an “f” for “fucking stupid” and right below the “d” for “dang near fucking stupid.”
Emporia, Kansas
11AM Update Data
Co-worker: He’s either “dead” or “passed away.”
9111 East Douglas Avenue
Wichita, Kansas
Overheard by: Nate
