Archive for the ‘Iraq’ Category

3PM Scientific Inquiry

Sergeant: But seriously, what would happen if the sun turned off?
Soldier: Well, you’d still have like, millions of years while the thing cooled off.
Sergeant: Naw, f*** that, like what if God threw a circuit breaker?

Lieutenant walks in

Soldier: Hey LT, you ran a nuclear plant before you came in the service, right? What would happen if someone popped the circuit breaker on the sun right now?

Lieutenant has a pained expression on his face.

Sergeant: Seriously, we’re not gonna let this go until we have an answer from a reputable source.
Soldier: We could go on like this for the rest of the deployment.
Lieutenant: Alright guys, it’s like this…

[…2 hours of nuclear physics, relative theory, thermal conductivity of the Earth’s
mantle and crust, and every crackpot theory to counter the former three…]

Soldier:…man, I’m never asking LT another question, ever.
Lieutenant: Good, ’cause I wasn’t gonna answer it anyway.

Mozul Airfield
Iraq

Overheard by: Bobby

Supporting Our Troops' Drinking Is the Most Important Thing Right Now

Soldier #1: Sir, are you going to do anything while on leave?
Lieutenant, sitting in the one shady spot in the blazing heat: Yeah, I think me and my cousin are going to get some fuckin beers, get all smashed, go out and get tattoos. It's gonna be cool shit. Grab some brews, bitches…way cool.
Soldier #2, walking up: Yeah? Are you going to get a tattoo of a penis on your forehead, dickhead?
(shocked silence)
Lieutenant (thoughtful): Naw…fuck that.

Iraq

Overheard by: TK- soldier#3 almost peed stopping from laughing