Archive for the ‘Iraq’ Category

3PM Sci­en­tif­ic In­quiry

Sergeant: But se­ri­ous­ly, what would hap­pen if the sun turned off?
Sol­dier: Well, you’d still have like, mil­lions of years while the thing cooled off.
Sergeant: Naw, f*** that, like what if God threw a cir­cuit break­er?

Lieu­tenant walks in

Sol­dier: Hey LT, you ran a nu­clear plant be­fore you came in the ser­vice, right? What would hap­pen if some­one popped the cir­cuit break­er on the sun right now?

Lieu­tenant has a pained ex­pres­sion on his face.

Sergeant: Se­ri­ous­ly, we’re not gonna let this go un­til we have an an­swer from a rep­utable source.
Sol­dier: We could go on like this for the rest of the de­ploy­ment.
Lieu­tenant: Al­right guys, it’s like this…

[…2 hours of nu­clear physics, rel­a­tive the­o­ry, ther­mal con­duc­tiv­i­ty of the Earth­’s
man­tle and crust, and every crack­pot the­o­ry to counter the for­mer three…]

Soldier:…man, I’m nev­er ask­ing LT an­oth­er ques­tion, ever.
Lieu­tenant: Good, ’cause I was­n’t gonna an­swer it any­way.

Mozul Air­field

Over­heard by: Bob­by

Sup­port­ing Our Troops’ Drink­ing Is the Most Im­por­tant Thing Right Now

Sol­dier #1: Sir, are you go­ing to do any­thing while on leave?
Lieu­tenant, sit­ting in the one shady spot in the blaz­ing heat: Yeah, I think me and my cousin are go­ing to get some fuckin beers, get all smashed, go out and get tat­toos. It’s gonna be cool shit. Grab some brews, bitches…way cool.
Sol­dier #2, walk­ing up: Yeah? Are you go­ing to get a tat­too of a pe­nis on your fore­head, dick­head?
(shocked si­lence)
Lieu­tenant (thought­ful): Naw…fuck that.


Over­heard by: TK- soldier#3 al­most peed stop­ping from laugh­ing