Archive for the ‘Iowa’ Category

You Mean Shrimp Chow Mane?

Ditzy coworker, giggling: My hair smells like Asian noodles!

Des Moines, Iowa

I’m Inquiring about Volume, Ass

Customer: How big is the one-pound burrito?
Employee: Um, that’d be one pound, ma’am.

Forrest Avenue
Des Moines, Iowa

You Guys from Nantucket Are So Sensitive

Cube rat #1: Dude, I’m going to send you a poem.
Cube rat #2: Okay.
Cube rat #1: Don’t get offended, okay?
Cube rat #2: Okay.
Cube rat #1: Dude, promise me you won’t get offended.

4949 Westown Parkway
Des Moines, Iowa

And Don’t Even Get Me Started on Yo Mama

Boss, sitting at peon’s desk: This chair is not ergonomically correct.
Peon: You’re not ergonomically correct.

Des Moines, Iowa

It’ll Be Reanimation Thursdays All Over Again

Coworker #1: You know what we should do? Pool our money together and buy a cat.
Coworker #2: Would anybody feed it? ‘Cause I don’t want no dead cat runnin’ around here.

Des Moines, Iowa

Overheard by: Gir

1PM Lunch

Manager: You know, breast augmentation is becoming a much more popular as a graduation gift.

715 Locust Street
Des Moines, Iowa

Without Conspiracy Theories, TV Would Be Iowa’s Only Entertainment

Cheeky sales guy: What about adding fluoride to water..?
Sales lady: Don’t do it!
Cheeky sales guy: The Nazis used it.
Sales lady: Stop egging him on!
Sales guy #2: Yeah, the first place it was used was the concentration camps. Adolf Hitler found that it mellowed them out.
Cubicle neighbor: And their teeth looked awesome?
Sales guy #2: No, it has nothing to do with teeth! It’s the second most poisonous element. It’s used in all kinds of rat poisons.

Marion, Iowa