Ditzy coworker, giggling: My hair smells like Asian noodles!
Des Moines, Iowa
Ditzy coworker, giggling: My hair smells like Asian noodles!
Des Moines, Iowa
Customer: How big is the one-pound burrito?
Employee: Um, that’d be one pound, ma’am.
Forrest Avenue
Des Moines, Iowa
Cube rat #1: Dude, I’m going to send you a poem.
Cube rat #2: Okay.
Cube rat #1: Don’t get offended, okay?
Cube rat #2: Okay.
Cube rat #1: Dude, promise me you won’t get offended.
4949 Westown Parkway
Des Moines, Iowa
Boss, sitting at peon’s desk: This chair is not ergonomically correct.
Peon: You’re not ergonomically correct.
Des Moines, Iowa
Coworker #1: You know what we should do? Pool our money together and buy a cat.
Coworker #2: Would anybody feed it? ‘Cause I don’t want no dead cat runnin’ around here.
Des Moines, Iowa
Overheard by: Gir
Manager: You know, breast augmentation is becoming a much more popular as a graduation gift.
715 Locust Street
Des Moines, Iowa
Cheeky sales guy: What about adding fluoride to water..?
Sales lady: Don’t do it!
Cheeky sales guy: The Nazis used it.
Sales lady: Stop egging him on!
Sales guy #2: Yeah, the first place it was used was the concentration camps. Adolf Hitler found that it mellowed them out.
Cubicle neighbor: And their teeth looked awesome?
Sales guy #2: No, it has nothing to do with teeth! It’s the second most poisonous element. It’s used in all kinds of rat poisons.
Marion, Iowa
Coworker to another who’s holding McDonald’s: God, I love the taste of sausage when I’m hung over.
1500 NW 118th Street
Des Moines, Iowa
Overheard by: Trevor
20-ish office girl: I am so mad at him! I sent him a Christmas card, but I did not write a note in it.
8th Street
Des Moines, Iowa
Middle aged TA, muttering to computer: Oh, look! It’s an anal party!
Middle School
Iowa
Overheard by: former NYer
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist