Archive for the ‘Interviewers/Interviewees’ Category

Just Left a Job in Urophil­ia, Penn­syl­va­nia

Job ap­pli­cant #1: No job is worth hav­ing to give some­one my pee in a plas­tic cup!
Job ap­pli­cant #2: Uh-oh, you’re re­fus­ing the drug test?
Job ap­pli­cant #1: Oh, it’s just a drug test? I thought that man­ag­er guy was just some sort of pee-pee per­vert.

5760 High­way 80
Pearl, Mis­sis­sip­pi

Over­heard by: Brain Danc­ing

Any­way, We’re Not Sure You’re the Sort of Sales Rep We Want at Dead Cat in a Bas­ket, LLC

Old­er woman: Yes, I have fif­teen years of com­mis­sion-on­ly sales ex­pe­ri­ence, and I’m ac­cus­tomed to trav­el­ing four days out of the week.
In­ter­view­er: Oh, um, well that’s great. Um, yes, some of our new hires don’t like trav­el­ing be­cause it’s so lone­ly and can be far from home and, um, you know, like soli­tud­ish and lone­ly.
Old­er woman: That’s okay with me. Trav­el is fine, but I can’t trav­el for three weeks out and one week home. I have two cats. I can leave them for four days at a time but not three weeks.
In­ter­view­er: Oh. Well, that’s un­for­tu­nate ’cause we re­al­ly would like you for the job. Well, um, if some­thing would hap­pen that would mean you could take this job, um, like I won’t get in­to what that would be or any­thing mor­bid or sad or anything…but you could al­ways re-ap­ply.

6500 Matal­in Place
Louisville, Ken­tucky

11AM In­ter­views

In­ter­view­er: Are you per­sua­sive?
Can­di­date: I call it force of per­son­al­i­ty. Like, I read peo­ple and
then I get them to do things by act­ing dif­fer­ent ways. Like some peo­ple, I yell at them. I’m not mean but I yell at them. But like my boss, I can’t yell at him.
Interviewer:Because he’s your boss?
Can­di­date: No. He does bet­ter if I do like, a lit­tle girl act. You know? Like, “Oh please.”
In­ter­view­er: Um, okay. So, who is your fa­vorite designer?…This is­n’t a trick ques­tion. I just want to know.
Can­di­date: My fa­vorite de­sign­er is Unit­ed Col­ors of Benet­ton.

721 5th Av­enue
New York, NY

Over­heard by: mean girls