Boss to intern: The gym is a great place for networking. You tend to have a bit more pull with your colleagues when you see them naked in the locker room every morning.
Bellingham, Washington
Archive for the ‘Interns & Temps’ Category
How Far in Advance Do You Think I Need to Book My Tickets?
Intern: So, why aren’t people making a big deal about the Mars Lander?
Busy office worker: I don’t know.
Intern: Do you know many people who are on board?
Indiana
I Have to Go Change My Pants
Intern: Lou* just said he really likes my sense of humor! He said I’m self-defecating! Can you believe it? Lou thinks I’m self-defecating — he thinks I sit in my own shit! Lou’s so cool.
Lou, two cubes away: I said ‘self-deprecating,’ you idiot.
Intern: Oh.
6707 Democracy Boulevard
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: One cubicle over
…With My Head Up My Butt and All.
Sous chef, passing behind inept intern: Behind you.
(intern backs into him)
Sous chef: Uh, hey…
Intern: I didn’t know which direction you were coming from!
Vermont
Overheard by: I know front from back
Our Ancestors Were Hunters, You Know
Male intern #1: Was she hot?
Male intern #2: She had a huge rack.
Female intern: (laughs)
Male intern #1: What? Are boobs funny now?
Female intern: No, he just didn’t really answer the question.
Male intern #2: Yeah, I did. He basically said “would you do her?” and I said “yeah.“
Female intern: No, I mean, if you just saw her face, would you say she was pretty?
Male intern #2: If I saw just her face?
Female intern: Yeah.
Male intern #2: I wouldn’t recognize her.
Des Moines, Iowa
Charlie Sheen Is Nothing If Not Self-Aware.
Intern to coworker: Are you guys talking about me? I heard the word ‘slut.’
Chicago, Illinois
… Now It’s Just Bubbling a Little. Wanna Listen?
Coworker: Hey, how was your weekend?
Intern: Great! It’s stopped itching and– [Coworker walks away.]
Washington, DC
Naming Him ‘Hitler’ May Have Been a Mistake
Intern #1: Yeah, well… my dog isn’t like the nicest person ever.
Intern #2: Yeah… Mine isn’t either.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: still wondering if they were serious.
Even the Attorney General Can’t Do That Indefinitely
Helper: You’re wonderful — like a pie face.
Receptionist: Like a pie face? Wonderful people are like pie faces?
Helper: Um, obviously you don’t understand I have my own language.
Receptionist: … Well, then what’s a pizza foot?
Helper: Look, you can’t just be making things up!
4601 Spicewood Springs Road
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Nator
Yet You Can Speak Hebrew
Guy #1, in Hebrew: So, what retarded kid are you working with today?
Guy #2, in Hebrew: Dude. Those kids are around here, you know.
Guy #1: Yeah, but no one here knows Hebrew.
Guy #2: This school’s like half Jewish. They might.
Guy #1: Not the retarded ones. They have enough trouble with English. You should know that — you work here, too.
University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: Knows Hebrew
