Tech illiterate office guy: Phil, how do you lubricate the internet?
Sydney
Australia
Archive for the ‘Internet’ Category
…Thus Fulfilling My Lifelong Dream.
Coworker, about new Twitter follower: Never mind, I thought it was a hooker.
Amarillo, Texas
Overheard by: Gina
My Secret? I Keep Absinthe in My Side Drawer.
Girl coworker: I’ll e‑mail the help desk…I’ll just say “please help us, help desk.” Ahahah! I ‘m so funny.
Guy coworker: Okay, good idea. You’re typing all in caps.
Girl coworker: I know! That’s because everything is in capitals on my computer.
Guy coworker: Um, you have the cap locks on.
Girl coworker: What is that?
Guy coworker: The caps lock key on your keyboard?
Girl coworker: Oh, no! My computer is just all caps.
Guy coworker: No, just do this. (does it) See? Now you’re not in caps anymore.
Girl coworker: Oh my gosh! You are so smart! Oh! Thank you so much! Oooohhh! Let me retype my e‑mail to the help desk! “Please help us, help desk.” That’s so funny! “Please help us, help desk.”
Northern California
Then I Realize I’m Married, and Reading Them
Woman smoking on loading dock: I get e‑mails from him at 3 and 4 am on Saturdays and I think to myself, “if he’s married, he must hate his wife.”
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: fly on the wall
I Guess We Need an Operational Definition Of “Polished”
Senior business analyst: That e‑mail is pretty good. Now just polish it up and send it out.
Business analyst: I did polish it!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Derek Braithwaite
Career Tip: Slow Readers Resent Duplicate Emails
Coworker to office administrator: Why did you send me this e‑mail twice?
Office admin: Because they sent it to me twice.
Coworker: So why did you send it to me twice?
Office admin: Because I thought it would only take you five seconds to delete.
Coworker: Didn’t you look at it before you sent it to me?
Office admin: Yes… but I didn’t send you the pornographic e‑mail that came in before that one!
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
They Brought Popcorn to the Sexual Harassment Video, and Hooted
Male worker to another: Damn, look at that girl’s ass on MySpace!
Female worker: Could you guys do this somewhere else?
Male worker: Nope, you see, this office is just like the guys’ locker room and you just happen to be working here.
Washington, DC
I Blame Viagra
Older female: My Yahoo is full of spam.
Midwest
The Technology’s Not Quite There Yet, Bob
Coworker #1: About that e‑mail you sent… Do you want me to copy the file onto a disc and mail it or do you want me to send the file as an e‑mail attachment?
Coworker #2: So you can’t just copy the file to a disc and e‑mail the disc?
Brentwood, Tennessee
Where It Settled and Reproduced
Gorgeous admin on phone with employee, while looking for e‑mail: Oh, I just found it… It went straight to my junk!
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: Wish I Was That Email
