Luddite sales manager: What’s “SSL”?
Lead developer: “Secure Socket Layer.” It’s a…
Marketing manager, listening to iPod: Who’s an insecure soccer player?
Software Company
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Kiwibloke
Archive for the ‘Internet’ Category
…Poke Her and You’re Dead.
30-year old accounting manager to 23-year old employee: So, my mom has a crush on you after seeing your picture on my Facebook profile.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Cougar Bait
The Question I Was Born to Answer
Coworker, surfing the net: What the crap? Is every Preston* in the world naked in their profile?
West Lafayette, Indiana
Um, WebMD Doesn’t Offer That Service, Sir
Cube guy on phone: Should I e‑mail you when I have another dump?
Fairfax, Virginia
Polish That Résumé, Sweetie
Female employee: I’m not really doing anything except drinking caffeine in my office and looking at unicorn websites. I found a unicorn name generator…
Denver, Colorado
…Could You Turn on My Computer for Me?
Creative director: I can’t take the course because I don’t have the software.
Peon: Why don’t you find out what the software costs and how to get it, and submit a proposal?
Creative director: I don’t know where to find that information.
Peon: Why don’t you use something called “the internet” to look it up?
Creative director: You mean like go into Google and type the name of the software?
Peon: Yeah, like that.
Creative director: Oh, good idea.
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Horse Whisperer
Sigh. Story Of My Life.
Office drone, surfing the net: I can’t find an image of a woman in a prison jumpsuit that would fit in a shopping cart…
Manhattan, New York
Translation: I’m Too Important to Google
Boss: How do you spell “sopping”?
Assistant: I don’t know, just google it.
Boss: Haven’t you realized yet that you’re my google?
Salem, Oregon
Overheard by: Jax
Ever Wondered Why We All Walk Down the Hallway in V Formation?
Employee #1, about former boss: Why is her Facebook picture a bird?
Employee #2: She loved birds. She has a cajillion of them. When she worked here there was bird shit everywhere. There are still some remnants.
Falls Church, Virginia
Overheard by: My desk has a window
You Won’t Care About Getting Laid
Intern chick #1: You know, it bothers me going into a store to buy condoms. But I am equally troubled by the idea that even when I buy them online, someone has to physically stuff them into a box with the lube I ordered, and then ship it to my address. And they’re there in some warehouse, thinking “Susie’s getting laid tonight!“
Intern chick #2: You should look into Xanax.
Rochester, New York
