Archive for the ‘Illinois’ Category

…And Rated on the Same Scale As Figure-Skating

Worker #1: My roommate has this book about all the kinds of poops you can have and what it means about your health.
Worker #2: Kinds of poops?
Worker #1: Yeah, like floaters, sinkers, clean poop…
Worker #2: Clean poop?!
Worker #1: The kind that slides right out and leaves your butt clean.
Worker #2: That should be called “perfect poop”.

Loyola Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

I’d Like to Dip My Socks in Your Coffee

Worker #1: Did you hear me? I just said I hit my knee on the window.
Worker #2: But there are no windows in your cubicle.
Worker #1: I know, I meant chair.
Worker #2: Hey [worker #3], did you hear [worker #1]? She said window but meant chair.
Worker #1: I also meant arm not knee.
Worker #2: Wait, so when you said, “I hit my knee on the window,” you really meant,“I hit my arm on the chair?“
Worker #1: Yeah.
Worker #2: You’re beautiful.

Rt 31, Illinois