HR gal: …we’re looking to see if he killed anybody, that’s all. If he killed anybody, the deal’s off.
5900 Wilshire Blvd
Los Angeles, California
Archive for the ‘Human Resources’ Category
That Was Unworthy of You, Betty
HR rep to coworker: I could, like, totally get a raise if I slept with him.
Coworker: Haven’t you already?
Leavenworth, Kansas
Is That, Like, a New Requirement?
HR employee to another: Does she look like she’s been hanging out with Bob Dylan?
Dunmore, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Can’t imagine what this could entail
Do I Need to Explain “Humpday” to You Again?
HR: So maybe I can do all three of you in the morning.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
11AM Handle Employee Complaints
Boss: Why hasn’t the mail come in yet?
HR: We have a new postal carrier and she hasn’t come in yet.
Boss: Is she nice looking?
HR: Well, she’s inconsistent. Sometimes she delivers at 2:30, sometimes it’s 1:00.
Boss: What has that got to do with how she looks?
HR: It doesn’t. Welcome to HR.
81 Apsley Street
Hudson, Massachusetts
Hypothetical Slogan for Bush/Cheney ’08
New hire: How many people work here?
HR clerk: About half of them.
5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Different Religions Have Varying Explanations
Case worker: Deb*, where can I find the new intake forms?
Deb*: You know, I’ve always wondered about that.
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Let’s Just Make Sure They’re Clean This Time.
HR rep #1, in HR team meeting: We’re having a compliance visit tomorrow. Harry is bringing some HQ reports we don’t have access to.
HR rep #2, loudly: Oh, fabulous. That’s like someone going through your underwear drawer (begins to fade) and pulling out the granny panties (almost inaudible) with all the stuff… (trails off, then loudly) What?
Fontana, California
Not Having to Listen to Cher Is Worth Paying Out-of-Pocket.
Male employee, angry about benefits: So my live-in girlfriend is not a domestic partner but Steve’s* boyfriend is?
HR generalist: Yes, that’s right. Domestic partners are same sex partners, that is the policy.
Male employee: So if my girlfriend became my boyfriend I could put her on my insurance?
HR generalist: Yes, if she grows a penis and discovers a deep abiding love for Cher, she can be on your insurance.
Male employee: Really?
HR generalist: (sighs)
Skokie, Illinois
This Job Only Hurts at First
Clueless HR rep: These are all in order, I’m a little anal when it comes to sorting…
Perky HR rep: Thanks. (pause) Yay! I love anal!
Overland Park, Kansas
