Archive for the ‘Human Resources’ Category

2PM All Hands Meet­ing at Down­town Branch

HR: Okay [Jen], here is your six month re­view. You are do­ing ex­cel­lent work, we could­n’t be hap­pi­er, you adapt es­pe­cial­ly well to change and keep this of­fice run­ning like a tight ship. We have put you in for a sub­stan­tial raise.
VP: We have come to the de­ci­sion that we will be clos­ing this of­fice. Every­one’s last day of work will be De­cem­ber 31st–
HR: –and here are your sev­er­ance pack­ages.

238 Bed­ford Street
Lex­ing­ton, Mass­a­chu­setts

Hav­ing Snook­ie As a Co-work­er Is No Piece Of Cake

Fe­male HR man­ag­er: I got so drunk last night, I slept in just my socks!
Dis­in­ter­est­ed fe­male cowork­er: Um­mm, good for you?
Fe­male HR man­ag­er: It’s one of my lev­els of drunk­en­ness. It means I’m re­al­ly drunk.
Dis­in­ter­est­ed fe­male cowork­er: Okay.
Fe­male HR man­ag­er: You know why I picked this long dress to wear to­day?
Dis­in­ter­est­ed fe­male cowork­er: Um­mm, no, why?
Fe­male HR man­ag­er, proud­ly: Be­cause I could skip the un­der­wear!
Hor­ri­fied fe­male cowork­er: (si­lence)
Fe­male HR man­ag­er: I think I might still be drunk.
Hor­ri­fied fe­male cowork­er: I’m start­ing to wish I was.

Great Val­ley, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: every­body has their freak flag

What Hap­pens When You Don’t Train a New Man­ag­er

HR clerk: He got so ex­cit­ed and he crapped all over him­self.
Re­cep­tion­ist, laugh­ing: Did Jim [man­ag­er] do that again?
Hr clerk: Uh, no, I was talk­ing about my new pup­py.
Re­cep­tion­ist: Oh, for­get what I just said. Please for­get! I was sup­posed to for­get.

Pearl, Mis­sis­sip­pi

Over­heard by: Brain Danc­ing