Archive for the ‘Hiring & Firing’ Category

2PM All Hands Meet­ing at Down­town Branch

HR: Okay [Jen], here is your six month re­view. You are do­ing ex­cel­lent work, we could­n’t be hap­pi­er, you adapt es­pe­cial­ly well to change and keep this of­fice run­ning like a tight ship. We have put you in for a sub­stan­tial raise.
VP: We have come to the de­ci­sion that we will be clos­ing this of­fice. Every­one’s last day of work will be De­cem­ber 31st–
HR: –and here are your sev­er­ance pack­ages.

238 Bed­ford Street
Lex­ing­ton, Mass­a­chu­setts

And Re­quest to Be Buried with the Pa­per

Ad­min, look­ing up from news­pa­per and greet­ing guest: Hel­lo, Mr Blue. Please have a seat, di­rec­tor Green will be right with you.
Mr Blue: You know, if you were my em­ploy­ee and you were read­ing the pa­per at your desk, I would fire you.
Ad­min: If I were your em­ploy­ee, I would kill my­self.

In­di­anapo­lis, In­di­ana

Over­heard by: Civ­il Ser­vant

Just Left a Job in Urophil­ia, Penn­syl­va­nia

Job ap­pli­cant #1: No job is worth hav­ing to give some­one my pee in a plas­tic cup!
Job ap­pli­cant #2: Uh-oh, you’re re­fus­ing the drug test?
Job ap­pli­cant #1: Oh, it’s just a drug test? I thought that man­ag­er guy was just some sort of pee-pee per­vert.

5760 High­way 80
Pearl, Mis­sis­sip­pi

Over­heard by: Brain Danc­ing