Archive for the ‘Hiring & Firing’ Category

2PM All Hands Meeting at Downtown Branch

HR: Okay [Jen], here is your six month review. You are doing excellent work, we couldn’t be happier, you adapt especially well to change and keep this office running like a tight ship. We have put you in for a substantial raise.
VP: We have come to the decision that we will be closing this office. Everyone’s last day of work will be December 31st–
HR: –and here are your severance packages.

238 Bedford Street
Lexington, Massachusetts

And Request to Be Buried with the Paper

Admin, looking up from newspaper and greeting guest: Hello, Mr Blue. Please have a seat, director Green will be right with you.
Mr Blue: You know, if you were my employee and you were reading the paper at your desk, I would fire you.
Admin: If I were your employee, I would kill myself.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Civil Servant