Archive for the ‘Hiring & Firing’ Category

2PM Make Of­fer

Suit #1: Well, you’ve heard more than I have. I can think of three can­di­dates, then.
Suit #2: And one very close to you.
Suit #1: Yes.
Suit #2: There’s Bill.
Suit #1: Yes.
Suit #2: And Mark.
Suit #1: Yes.
Suit #2: And that good-look­ing guy from Con­necti­cut, the one with the hair.
Suit #1: Right.
Suit #2: Hmm.

140 Broad­way
New York, NY

5PM That’s a Wrap

Di­rec­tor #1: Hey, why are you pack­ing up? Is your of­fice mov­ing to­mor­row?
Di­rec­tor #2: Uh, no. I just got fired.
Di­rec­tor #1: Oh, wow. There’s re­al­ly just not a way for this not to be awk­ward is there?

7201 Metro Boule­vard
Min­neapo­lis, Min­neso­ta

4PM Look Busy!

Un­der­ling #1: Man, this sucks, you can al­ways tell when some­one’s about to get let go.
Un­der­ling #2: Yeah?
Un­der­ling #1: Well yeah. [The boss] is still here.
Un­der­ling #2: How does that–
Un­der­ling #1: It’s 3:30pm!…Hello? It’s Fri­day!

5790 Fleet Street
Carls­bad, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Mil­ton Wad­dams

2PM All Hands Meet­ing at Down­town Branch

HR: Okay [Jen], here is your six month re­view. You are do­ing ex­cel­lent work, we could­n’t be hap­pi­er, you adapt es­pe­cial­ly well to change and keep this of­fice run­ning like a tight ship. We have put you in for a sub­stan­tial raise.
VP: We have come to the de­ci­sion that we will be clos­ing this of­fice. Every­one’s last day of work will be De­cem­ber 31st–
HR: –and here are your sev­er­ance pack­ages.

238 Bed­ford Street
Lex­ing­ton, Mass­a­chu­setts