Archive for the ‘Health & Hygiene’ Category

Is That Better or Worse Than Her Stepdaughter Being Pregnant and Moving Out to Live with the Son?

Coworker #1: Well, I got some good news and some bad news last night.
Coworker #2: Let me guess… your stepdaughter’s moving out, but she’s pregnant.
Coworker #1: Oh my God, you’re so close! My stepdaughter’s moving out and my eighteen-year-old son’s girlfriend is pregnant.
Coworker #2: Wow, what luck.

1649 Pandosy
Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada

Overheard by: melissa

I'll Do My Best to Live Up to That. Now

Boss: You're out smoking again? I thought you were quitting?
Assistant: I start taking the Chantix tomorrow morning, smoke for a week and throw the cigarettes away and double the dose.
Boss: Okay, can I give you shit for it?
Assistant: All you want, I'll be a complete bitch and make your life hell.
Boss on intercom: Everyone, you have the next 2 months off: assistant is going to be a bigger bitch than usual.

Fountain Valley, California

3PM Coffee Break

Worker #1: How are you feeling? Coming down with anything?
Worker #2: No, but it seems like everyone else is.
Worker #1: If you get sick, I’m a doctor so I can take care of you.
I’ve got a BS, a CS and a DD. That’s a degree in Back Stabbing, Cork-Screwing, and Double-Dealing

2320 West Highway 76
Branson, Missouri