5PM That’s a Wrap

Assistant #1: I want to stab my eyes out. Is that normal?
Assistant #2: Yes.
Assistant #1: Just wanted to make sure.

640 5th Avenue
New York, NY

…Mr. Gigantor

Salesmen on phone with client: I did steroids in college, so I understand where you're coming from.

Plymouth, Massachusetts

Probably Some Sort of Throw Pillow

Student: What is this bit?
Professor: Which bit?
Student: The kinda-purplish, squishy bit.
Professor, to assistant: Do you know what that is?
Assistant: No.
Professor, to student: That’s not important. You can ignore that.

USC Anatomy lab
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Kylie

Why Gay Porn Stars Are So Healthy

Gay hairstylist: But people who have anal don't get prostrate cancer…
Manager: They only get hemorrhoids.
Gay hairstylist: That's true, after a while it looks like a cauliflower. But, anyway, we do not get prostate cancer, because the cock acts like a massage therapist.
Manager: Riiiiight!

Sao Paulo
Brazil

10AM Check Out the Lobby

A co-worker steps out of the elevator into the reception lobby.

Co-worker #1: Ew, it smells like a nursing home in here.

5 minutes pass.

Co-worker #2: Mmm, it smells good in here.

55 Southbank Boulevard
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia

Overheard by: Emily Hopkins

What Health Care Crisis?

Employee: How long do I have to work here before I receive health
insurance?
Boss: Oh…Um…We don’t do that here. I know some hospitals that
won’t report you to the credit bureaus, though.

1101 Robin Hill Lane
Bel Air, Maryland

Ma'am, I Was Talking About a Commemorative Plaque

Woman to on cell: Hi, this is Susan Smith*. I was successful using a toothbrush so I don't need your help. Thanks for offering. Bye.

Glenview, Illinois

Overheard by: Jess

You Seem to Be Missing My Point Deliberately

Senior editor: I know! I could sue the company. I injured my toenail at a company event. What do you think loss of a toenail is worth?
Writer: I don't know. See what they're selling for on eBay.

Renton, Washington

Don’t Ask Me to Explain That, Either

Guy, coming out of the men’s room: Wait. Someone actually stole the posters… from around the urinal?
Comic book guy: Don’t ask me to explain it.
Guy: Were they unfamiliar with the concept of nerd hygiene?

Broadway
New York City, New York

Her Poop?

Nurse #1: I love poop!
Nurse #2 to everyone: She's losing it!

Hospital
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Lauren