Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category

3PM Coffee Break

Copywriter: Were you looking for me?
Designer: Sorry?
Copywriter: Before, when I was in that meeting…it looked like you were looking for me.
Designer: Ah…Where I walked over, sighed, and declared “Tragedy”; I was actually looking for the coffee. The window to your meeting room just happened to be behind the machine. You guys have better coffee than our side.

12655 Beatrice Street
Los Angeles, California

Two Words: Vasectomy, Vasectomy

A man holding a child’s hand meets up with a woman holding another child’s hand.

Man and woman, simultaneously: I thought he was with you!
Man, turning to go back inside: I told you this would happen if you let them outnumber us.

Outside Bloomingdale’s, 59th Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: Kim Siddorn

1PM Lunch

Sales #1: There’s lint on your shoulder.
Sales #2: Oh.
Sales #1: Here, I’ll pick it off. Wait, here’s Scotch tape; that works better.
Sales #2: I feel like those monkeys that pick bugs off each other’s heads and backs. 

712 South Hacienda Drive
Tempe, Arizona

3PM Coffee Break

Battleaxe: You know, pretty soon we’ll start to see refugees from New Orleans at this school…I’d rather that than the Muslims.

695 Park Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Carl Limbacher 

Co-worker #1: Man, New Orleans has sure turned into something out of Lord Of The Rings.
Co-worker #2: Don’t you mean Lord Of The Flies?

800 Hennepin Ave S
Minneapolis, Minnesota

1PM Business Casual

T‑shirt: Why are you wearing a suit?
Suit: I had court this morning.
T‑shirt: Traffic Court? Did you pay a fine?
Suit: Yeah, Traffic Court. The fine was five hundred dollars.
T‑shirt: You should have worn a different suit. That one looks like it cost about forty dollars.
Suit: I paid seven hundred dollars for this.
T‑shirt: You got ripped off.
Suit: Well whoever’s been giving you that piece of shit baseball brim haircut the last year has been ripping you off.
T‑shirt: I wear a toupee.

2211 N. First Street
San Jose, California

Overheard by: daimaoh