Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category

He Just Doesn’t Have the Underwearwithal

Woman: I haven’t talked to Henry* in a week. I’m through with him.
Man: Why? What happened?
Woman: He’s sooo selfish. He took the last t-shirt out of my drawer and wore it.
Man: That’s it? Dumped him over a t-shirt?
Woman: I texted him and told him we’re through.
Man: Wow. Dumped over a Hanes.
Woman: Yep. Infidelity I forgave, but don’t take my last goddamned t-shirt out of my fuckin’ drawer. Selfish!

45 South Illinois Street
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Jersey? You Bastards!

Corporate boss on phone: Do you know where I am? Do you know where I am? I’m on Roosevelt-fucking-Island… Roosevelt-fucking-Island! In a fucking trailer! This is my life, okay? I was nauseous this morning ’cause I’m a schmuck. I’m on Roosevelt-fucking-Island… So tell me, does it get any worse?

Roosevelt Island, New York

Overheard by: Officetemp

1PM Lunch

Worker #1: Today was like International Day at McDonalds this morning. Not one person spoke with a Midwest accent…I was gonna be like, “Oh, they are so fucking up my breakfast.”
Worker #2: Did you hear that there are more terrorists in Ohio?
Worker #1: Yeah? First they want to blow up our malls here in the city, now kill the President. They are always in Ohio. You never hear about them in like, Montana. That’s where the Nazis are.
Worker #3: Yeah, the terrorists are up there on the 4th floor…You should go up there.
Worker #2: I’m not going up there.
Worker #1: They do have a nice floor up there.

1 Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio