Employee: No one comes here anymore, it’s too crowded.
383 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: kt
Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category
11AM Staff Meeting
Boss: Your job isn’t to solve problems; your job is to find solutions.
117 South Street
Hopkinton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Guido Sarducci
2PM Print Termination Letter
Boss: You know what my problem is? I’m too nice a guy. I fired [Lenore] this morning. I should’ve kept her on till the end of the day, but then I would’ve felt like I was using her. I’m an idiot.
Salesperson: That’s two problems.
40 Shuman Boulevard
Naperville, Illinois
More Like Cinema Verite
Boss: Wow, this [stapler] is heavy.
Co-worker: It’s from a movie.
Boss: What movie?
Co-worker: Office Space.
Boss: Is that a comedy?
1 Railroad Avenue
Cooperstown, New York
They’d Rather Be Called “Interns”
Wailing lady peon: Nooo! I have three boobs!
187 Thomas Street
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: mellamaphone
When We Get to ‘Two,’ Give Me a Push, Okay?
Blonde entering elevator: I tell you, people are lazy.
Brunette: Which people?
Blonde, hitting button for second floor: Everybody. Everybody is lazy!
2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington
Overheard by: going to 5
We’re Trying to Rig Up Some Kind of IV Drip Feed in a Backpack
Salesperson on phone: She’s a vicious person but a friendly, stupid drunk.
George Town
Grand Cayman
10AM Work on Prints
Engineer: How much longer will you be using those prints?
Safety Manager: Five minutes.
Engineer: What if I borrow them for three minutes and then give them back to you?
Safety Manager: I’d say yes, but you won’t give them back in three minutes. So, no, you can’t borrow them.
Engineer: You’re so much like your dad, it’s not even funny.
186 Gilman Avenue
Campbell, California
Overheard by: Shannon
10AM Check Out the Lobby
A co-worker steps out of the elevator into the reception lobby.
Co-worker #1: Ew, it smells like a nursing home in here.
5 minutes pass.
Co-worker #2: Mmm, it smells good in here.
55 Southbank Boulevard
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Emily Hopkins
11AM Damage Control
Co-worker on phone: I’m sorry, can you say that again?…I’m sorry…I’m having some trouble understanding what you’re trying to say…Why don’t you have your boss call me and we can get this straightened out?
Hangs up.
Co-worker: Just go back to your motherfucking country…Christ.
839 Marshall Phelps Road
Windsor, Connecticut
Overheard by: Douchey Douchelton