Bring a Friend

Male coworker: When are you going to come out of your cave and socialize?
Female coworker: Why don’t you just come in my cave?!

810 7th Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Hmmm… Maybe I will

10AM Cultural Sensitivity Workshop

Co-worker #1: Hey, look at this expense report. It says he took $50
cab rides everyday and he has no receipts! He’s milking us.
Co-worker #2: Wow! But don’t say that to our boss. She’s Jewish too.

4301 N. Fairfax Drive
Arlington, Virginia

Multiasking the Multitasker

VP #1: You’re not listening to me
VP #2: Yes I am!
VP #1: No you’re not, whenever I try to ask you a question you’re on the phone!
VP #2: Why can’t I multitask?
VP #1: Because you’re lousy at it and I’ll have to ask you three times!

30 E 33rd Street
New York, NY

It Does Seem That the Planet Has Enough People

Woman on phone: So, the reason he can’t cum is because he virtually has no sperm count. No sperm at all. That’s such a relief!

Rochelle Park, New Jersey

Overheard by: Rosie

2PM Credit Meeting

VP: Are we going to continue to flog ourselves with the same blunt instrument?

910 Lousiana Street
Houston, Texas

Dude, You’re on Speakerphone

VP, after phone call: What are these guys, incompetent? [Looks at phone] Is that thing hung up?

Ventura and Balboa Boulevards
Encino, California

Overheard by: Wish I didn’t work in the Valley

And That Cuts Into My Busy Internet Poker Playing Schedule

Angry suit: It’s like I need to come to every meeting if I want to know what’s actually going on!

Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: At EVERY Meeting

9AM Back to Work

Manager: I should send you guys a screenshot of my desktop. It looks like Bill Gates threw up all over it.

17601 Brook Park Road
Brook Park, Ohio

By Wiping It on the Coffee Area?

Convenience store worker #1: This coffee area is a mess.
Convenience store worker #2, at cash register: I just cleaned my butt off on Sunday.

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Overheard by: Rob W

When Software Is Too Soft

Finance clerk: I couldn't get it up!

Reston, Virginia

Overheard by: Receptionitis