Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category

I Can Hear the Awk­ward Si­lence from Here

Work­er: [Jeff] did­n’t come in be­cause he has pneu­mo­nia. We went to the hos­pi­tal yes­ter­day.
Man­ag­er: Ever since you and [Jeff] start­ed dat­ing he’s be­gun falling apart. Now he’s got pneu­mo­nia. That’s what drugs will do to you; low­er your im­mune sys­tem.
Work­er: That could­n’t have been it…It’s been 2 weeks since we’ve tak­en ec­sta­cy.

7350 S. Tami­a­mi Trail
Sara­so­ta, Flori­da

I’m Pret­ty Sure Mel Gib­son Has Bare­ly Touched His Copy

Young of­fice work­er: I need some Catholic class­es or some­thing. I get all con­fused about the Bible char­ac­ters and Je­sus.
Man­ag­er: Why not go to church? Or maybe when you go to col­lege, they’ll have a Bible study. Lots of kids do that.
Young of­fice work­er: I need some­thing be­fore then. I need Je­sus for Dum­mies so I can catch up!

365 West Pas­sa­ic Street
Rochelle Park, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: the cu­bi­cle right out­side

12PM Lunch

Cowork­er: Who won the World Cup game?
Su­per­vi­sor: Ghana beat the U.S.
Cowork­er: Aw, I want­ed the U.S. to win!
Su­per­vi­sor: Why? The U.S. wins every­thing. That’s why we have the Olympics.

1145 East 4th Street
Tuc­son, Ari­zona

Over­heard by: Rasputin

Mar­ti­na Navratilo­va in­ad­ver­tent­ly re­veals the se­cret of her suc­cess

Girl: Yeah, so I have to go buy this see-through tank top and a see-through skirt for ten­nis. It’s so stu­pid. And I will have to wear an­oth­er tank top un­der­neath my see-through tank top and some shorts to cov­er up my balls–I mean… [laughs re­al­ly hard]

Ca­reer Cen­ter
Win­ston-Salem, North Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: not-so-smart asian.

9AM Stay in My Cube To­day

Au­di­to­ri­um work­er: …she has shelves full of them. If you vis­it her she goes on and on about all her Hum­mels. And for each Hum­mels she has some god­damn sto­ry to go along with it. Bores you to death. That’s why I don’t go over there.

700 Nicol­let Mall
Min­neapo­lis, Min­neso­ta

Over­heard by: 2qrs