Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category

2PM Straightening Up

At the end of Take Your Kids to Work Day…

Bruno*: Everything is askew! Where’s my weedbag? I’ve got some quarters missing. Damn thieving kids.

222 North Lasalle
Chicago, Illinois

So Not Why I Went to College

Cube girl: Man, being on my knees down here really hurts…

Greenville, Texas

Overheard by: me next?

1PM Lunch

CSR: You know sometimes when you blow, you can feel it in your throat?
Secretary: No, I don’t blow that hard.
CSR: Well, I blow hard and I can feel it sometimes. It sucks.

541 Lexington Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Eve S Dropper

4PM Brainstorming Session

New training manager: Back in the day, I had a great idea. I know we’re into this touchy-feely self-esteem human resource stuff, but I said: “Take the supervisor who has the highest rate of unqualified, untrained direct reports, walk him to the end of the pier, and shoot him!” They told me I couldn’t do that. But it would have been effective!

75 Eastern Point Road
Groton, Connecticut

And So Igneous to Use a Dictionary

Coworker: I just love paying bills online — it is just so easy.
Blonde coworker: I know, it’s so great.
Coworker: The computer has really made things efficient.
Blonde coworker: I know — it is, like, sooo Antarctic to pay your bills by check nowadays.

30th floor, 55 East 52nd Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: Greg Case

I Love Dating the Employees

Boss: I went on a date with this guy, and he showed up with the most hideous, tacky tie on. So I just said, ‘That tie is so tacky’ and made him take it off and threw it into the nearest trash can. He thinks I’m so mean, but I’m telling you, he loves it.

171 Madison Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Grace Aldridge

Remember? The ASPCA Won’t Let Us Forget!

Daughter-in-law cooing over another shopper’s baby: Awww — look at that face!
Mother-in-law: You’ll have one of your own soon.
Daughter-in-law: [Snorts] Talk to your son about that.
Mother-in-law: Well, that’s between the two of you, I think.
Daughter-in-law: You know how I am. If I don’t get what I want, I just go out and get it myself. Remember how I wanted a kitten?

Oxford Valley Mall
Langhorne, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Fellow shopper