Receptionist: Every time I hear that phone, it’s ringing!
3424 Peachtree Road NE
Atlanta, Georgia
Receptionist: Every time I hear that phone, it’s ringing!
3424 Peachtree Road NE
Atlanta, Georgia
HR assistant: So, Paul*, when are you gonna take a look at my thing? I’m bursting at the seams, right?
Paul the safety director: [laughing] I can’t look now — and will never look at your thing.
HR assistant: But, dang it! I need some space! Look at how my file cabinets are overflowing!!
Paul: HR isn’t the only department that needs filing space!
HR assistant: [sighs] I just need someone to look and to care!
4730 South Fort Apache
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Corporate Paralegal
News producer, holding a bachelorette party: Who the hell counts calories on a penis sucker?
Jackson, Mississippi
Co-worker: I’m like a dead person wrapped in a living person. It’s like a pigs-in-a-blanket, except made out of dead people and living people.
631 King Edward Avenue
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Employee, about to move from a large cubicle to a much smaller one: It’s like I’m going to be living in a brothel!
Coworker: I think you mean “slum.”
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
Employee #1: He doesn’t do anything, but he makes great presentations.
Employee #2: He gives good slide?
Employee #1: Exactly.
600 Technology Park Drive
Billerica, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Jeff Dietz
Nurse: I hate you, you’re so skinny.
Patient: I have Crohn’s disease.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: another patient
Convenience store worker #1: This coffee area is a mess.
Convenience store worker #2, at cash register: I just cleaned my butt off on Sunday.
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Rob W
Female coworker: I woke up today and couldn’t find my panties.
Male coworker: So, did you find them finally?
Female coworker: No. And my husband disappeared…
Law office
New York, New York
Overheard by: julllully
Worker #1: Boy, you look tired…
Project Manager: Yeah, it’s been hectic. I need some of that geico balboa stuff.
Worker #1: Uh, ginko bilboa?
Project Manager: That’s what I said.
Worker #1: No, you said “geico balboa”.
Project Manager: What’s the difference?
Worker #1: Well, Geico is an insurance company, and Balboa is Rocky the boxer’s–as in the movie–last name.
Project Manager: Ha! I wonder if he gets a hard time for that.
Worker #1: He’s not a real person. Besides, I think what you meant was you needed some ginseng. Do you know what ginko bilboa is for?
Worker #2: Okay, seriously, how long is this meeting going to be?
6700 Hollister Road
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Damien Sebastiani
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist