Supervisor: I didn’t just say that to him because he’s gay, I would’ve said the same thing to you.
Worker: Oh yeah? How do you know I’m not gay?
Supervisor: I don’t. Are you?
Worker: Yes.
Supervisor: Okay then, have a nice day…
716 West Genesee Street
Syracuse, New York
Contracts officer: Frankly, I think she’ll be tickled shitless…I could have said she’d be shittled titless, but I thought that would be offensive.
HR lady: This meeting has now offically gone on too long.
1010 North Glebe Road
Arlington, Virginia
Employee: Hello, and welcome to XYZ Store*. How are you today?
Suit: Um, I’m alright. How are you?
Employee, shrugging half-heartedly: I work at XYZ Store.
Suit: Oh, right. Sorry.
Electronics store
New York, New York
Overheard by: I’ll try and be nicer to them from now on
Shoe store girl #1: You look tired all the time.
Shoe store girl #2: Well, I think it’s my allergies. I’m allergic to cats and I like to rub mine on my face all the time.
Shoe store girl #1: Oh.
Northgate Mall
Seattle, Washington
HR Guru: The only person you can change is yourself–
Infidel: I keep trying that, but she’s still being a bitch!
2025 E St, NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Bendystraw
Helper: You’re wonderful — like a pie face.
Receptionist: Like a pie face? Wonderful people are like pie faces?
Helper: Um, obviously you don’t understand I have my own language.
Receptionist: … Well, then what’s a pizza foot?
Helper: Look, you can’t just be making things up!
4601 Spicewood Springs Road
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Nator
Employee stocking makeup shelves to another: Yeah… They come here and ask me something and I’m like “that’s in groceries,” and they say, “well, where are groceries?” and that’s why I just hate customers. (notices customer, who has been standing there the entire time) Oh, hi! Can I help you with anything?
Conley Drive
Columbia, Missouri
Boss looking at her new laptop: There are too many keys.
Bank
New York
Overheard by: Tjay
Assistant: Are you stealing things already?
Marketing rep: Are you saying that because I’m black?
9401 West Brown Deer Road
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: T
Client: It doesn’t sound as if the rep really understands the product. Does she need more training?
Account Manager: Oh, she understands the product. She just can’t explain it.
6665 N. Macarthur Boulevard
Irving, Texas
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist