Overheard In The Office

Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category

2PM Fa­cil­i­ties Is­sues

HR as­sis­tant: So, Paul*, when are you gonna take a look at my thing? I’m burst­ing at the seams, right?
Paul the safe­ty di­rec­tor: [laugh­ing] I can’t look now — and will nev­er look at your thing.
HR as­sis­tant: But, dang it! I need some space! Look at how my file cab­i­nets are over­flow­ing!!
Paul: HR is­n’t the on­ly de­part­ment that needs fil­ing space!
HR as­sis­tant: [sighs] I just need some­one to look and to care!

4730 South Fort Apache
Las Ve­gas, Neva­da

Over­heard by: Cor­po­rate Para­le­gal

1PM Lunch

Co-work­er: I’m like a dead per­son wrapped in a liv­ing per­son. It’s like a pigs-in-a-blan­ket, ex­cept made out of dead peo­ple and liv­ing peo­ple.

631 King Ed­ward Av­enue
Ot­tawa, On­tario
Cana­dia

Vic­tor’s Se­cret

Fe­male cowork­er: I woke up to­day and could­n’t find my panties.
Male cowork­er: So, did you find them fi­nal­ly?
Fe­male cowork­er: No. And my hus­band dis­ap­peared…

Law of­fice
New York, New York

Over­heard by: jul­l­lul­ly

10AM Project Meet­ing

Work­er #1: Boy, you look tired…
Project Man­ag­er: Yeah, it’s been hec­tic. I need some of that ge­ico bal­boa stuff.
Work­er #1: Uh, ginko bil­boa?
Project Man­ag­er: That’s what I said.
Work­er #1: No, you said “ge­ico bal­boa”.
Project Man­ag­er: What’s the dif­fer­ence?
Work­er #1: Well, Ge­ico is an in­sur­ance com­pa­ny, and Bal­boa is Rocky the boxer’s–as in the movie–last name.
Project Man­ag­er: Ha! I won­der if he gets a hard time for that.
Work­er #1: He’s not a re­al per­son. Be­sides, I think what you meant was you need­ed some gin­seng. Do you know what ginko bil­boa is for?
Work­er #2: Okay, se­ri­ous­ly, how long is this meet­ing go­ing to be?

6700 Hol­lis­ter Road
Hous­ton, Texas

Over­heard by: Damien Se­bas­tiani