Girl #1: I use the pull and pray method.
Girl #2: Girl, pull and pray…they never do it. It doesn’t work.
Girl #1: Yes it does! It just doesn’t work ninety percent of the time.
45 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: not dating either of them
Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category
Would That Help?
Coworker #1: Yo, I need a shredder for all my junk mails that I get. I get mad junk mail at home.
Coworker #2: You print out all your junk e-mail?!
27th Street and 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Michael
10AM Meeting with HR
Co-worker #1: Ew!
Co-worker #2: What?
Co-worker #1: His internet history has porn on it!
Co-worker #2: Really?
Co-worker #1: Yeah!
Co-worker #2: Like what?
Co-worker #1: A whole bunch of free stuff from [Fleshbot].com. I can’t believe this.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I know…
Co-worker #1: I mean…I don’t care if he does this at home, but not at this computer…We work in here!
Co-worker #2: Yeah…Sure…What was that site again?
41 West Clinton Avenue
Tenafly, New Jersey
11AM Cancel Cameras Order
Boss: You told me that before.
Office worker: How do you know?
Boss: I have a photogenic memory.
2 Walters Lane
Point Pleasant, Pennsylvania
4PM Review Applicants
Co-worker: If he was any more by the book, he’d have a cover on him.
3160 Charlestown Road
Martinsburg, West Virginia
3PM Smoke Break
Co-worker #1: I really need to do Yoga again.
Co-worker #2: Do you want my Yoga tapes? I don’t do it anymore, because my dog just won’t leave me alone when I’m down on all fours.
57 East Green Street
Champaign, Illinois
The Law's a Cruel Mistress, Betsy
Female attorney to secretary: Even the three-ways are a pain in the butt.
Asheville, North Carolina
Think of It Less as Creation and More as Intelligent Design
Art Director: We had another “captain literal” sighting in a client
meeting today. People are stupid.
Copywriter: Be less creative. It always works for me.
930 S. Calhoun Street
Fort Wayne, Indiana
What Else Is Available in the Nation’s Capital?
Customer: … And it’s Miss Jameson*, not ‘missus.’ Why does everyone always assume you’re married to some asshole?
801 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC
Okay, People, You Are to Cease Using the Austin Powers Films in Management Training
Underling: Is that what you need?
Boss: I was asking for a shark with laser beams, and I got a manatee with flashlights? Thanks.
Kadena Air Base
Okinawa, Japan
Overheard by: R U Shittin’ Me