Archive for the ‘Government’ Category

Why ‘American Government Conspiracy’ Will Always Be an Oxymoron

Intern #1: I will do all of your House bills if you get up and dance right now!
Intern #2: No.
Co-Worker: Why would you pay all of his house bills if he dances? That’s like $100!
Intern #1: House, like House of Representatives!
Co-Worker: We have access to the legislature’s power bills?

Political Office
Raleigh, North Carolina

Overheard by: Jason B.

I'm Just Excited Because My Shipment Arrived from Colombia

Kind supervisor: I just wanted to ask you to lower your voice a little bit. You must have gotten some good news on the phone, but you were a little rambunctious with the language. I think you said (whispering) “shit” three times during that call.
Embarrassed secretary: You ask so little of me, and I still can't do it. I mean, who has to tell a grown woman not to yell “shit” in a crowded office?

Government Office
Tampa, Florida

2PM Raising Headcount

Recruiter for aid programs in Afghanistan: I talked with one Mark Johnson* — an 82-year-old WWII vet. He doesn’t hear well, but would love to see some combat. I told him that I would see what we could arrange.
Manager: Ummm…
Recruiter: Dude, sarcasm?

7250 Woodmont Avenue
Bethesda, Maryland