Archive for the ‘Gossip’ Category

The Cow Was Found to Be Negligent

Lawyer #1: I can’t wait to get rid of those cows.
Lawyer #2: I thought you liked your cows.
Lawyer #1: Well, I did, but then one of them got a little too close and now I have a large bruise on my right thigh.
Lawyer #2: You were just too proximate.

401 Congress Avenue
Austin, Texas

Too-Much-Information Technology

Coworker: Thank you for calling ABC Tech Support*. Can I have your name, please? … While we’re waiting for the information to come up in our system, you wouldn’t happen to know how they execute their criminals in China…? I just ask because I heard that they sell the organs of condemned criminals over there.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Glad I wasn’t on the phone at the time

4PM I’m Out of Here

Lady: How do I get to the radio station?
Receptionist: You have to go down the hall and take the elevator down.

20 minutes pass.

Lady : Okay, I did the singing telegram, now I need a bathroom.

4041 Mill Street
Kansas City, Missouri

“Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Punch-out,” by Joe the Cashier

Cashier: My nephew started swearing up a storm at me, and I almost punched him. Then he started saying, ‘Uno, dos, tres,’ and I realized it was Spanish he learned from Dora. Damn, I almost punched him, because I didn’t know what he was sayin’. I also hate those kids that used to run into the store when they saw those Barney footprints by the door… I used to want to punch them, too.

205 East Lincoln Way
Ames, Iowa

Overheard by: Not a Kid Fan, but not a Kid Puncher, either