Archive for the ‘Gossip’ Category

3PM Smoke Break

Co-work­er #1: Al­so I watched [Ernest] get in­to ba­si­cal­ly a pe­nis-mea­sur­ing con­test with his room­mate.
Co-work­er #2: Over what?
Co-work­er #1: Well…who was the fittest, and about who makes more hourly.
Co-work­er #2: Who won?
Co-work­er #1: In two weeks they’re go­ing to have a run around Green­lake, and [An­tho­ny] says in a cou­ple of months he’ll make more hourly again.

2001 Lind Av­enue SW
Ren­ton, Wash­ing­ton

Those Who Can’t Do, Teach

Boss’s 80-year-old dad: I don’t think I am go­ing to keep my re­al­tor’s li­cense.
Boss’s 80-year-old mom: Okay… Then what are you go­ing to do?
Boss’s 80-year-old dad: I’ll be­come a sex ther­a­pist!

126 York Street
Elmhurst, Illi­nois

Over­heard by: Joanie

She Got Three Few­er Dis­eases, Though

Over­paid re­cep­tion­ist: I am so freakin’ tired. I’ve been ac­tu­al­ly hav­ing sex since four o’­clock Sat­ur­day ’til six o’­clock this morn­ing.
Cowork­er: Um­mm, that’s nice.
Over­paid re­cep­tion­ist: I’m so sore. I am walk­ing like Sal­ly*. It looks like she was fucked all week­end, but all she did was pull weeds.

North O’­Con­nor Boule­vard
Las Col­i­nas, Texas

Over­heard by: So that’s what ‘be­ing rode hard and put away wet’ looks like

9AM Stay in My Cube To­day

Au­di­to­ri­um work­er: …she has shelves full of them. If you vis­it her she goes on and on about all her Hum­mels. And for each Hum­mels she has some god­damn sto­ry to go along with it. Bores you to death. That’s why I don’t go over there.

700 Nicol­let Mall
Min­neapo­lis, Min­neso­ta

Over­heard by: 2qrs

5PM Time for Hap­py Hour

Co-work­er #1: Not on­ly am I sup­posed to be meet­ing this hot guy at the bar tonight, but we’re cel­e­brat­ing [Dar­ren] pass­ing his bar ex­am! It’s go­ing to be wild.
Co-work­er #2: Well, if you’re smil­ing to­mor­row morn­ing we’ll know how it all went.
Co-work­er #1: Hell, if the night goes as ex­pect­ed, I won’t even be walk­ing straight to­mor­row morn­ing.

1218 Web­ster Av­enue
Hous­ton, Texas

Over­heard by: Of­fice Slave

But This Is a Four-Per­son Of­fice!

Boss: Don’t do that. Make Suzanne* do that.
As­sis­tant: Why?
Boss: Be­cause Suzanne is a cunt and we hate her.
As­sis­tant: I like her. Erin* likes her.
Boss: We don’t re­al­ly like you two, ei­ther.

Goshen Turn­pike
Bloom­ing­burg, New York

Over­heard by: Veron­i­ca at