50-year-old woman cashier to customer: … And then I had to chase them with my pants down, and I hadn’t even gotten the chance to wipe yet!
17111 Haggerty Road
Northville, Michigan
Archive for the ‘Gossip’ Category
Buying That Defibrillator Really Paid Off, Huh?
Black lady: So, you dating again?
Chinese lady: No, why would I be dating?
Black lady: I thought your husband was dead!
Chinese lady: No, he’s not dead.
Black lady: Well, good for you.
450 N Street
Sacramento, California
Maybe It’s Time to Stop Wearing Bibs at Lunch
Young-looking coworker after taking polygraph: They tried to get me to admit I was into kiddie porn.
Coworker yet to take polygraph: Dude, you look like you could still be in kiddie porn.
ASQ2
Linthicum, Maryland
How You Know Your Coworker’s a Virgin
Younger guy peon: You know, I’ve never had any experience with ladies from the Pacific Rim.
Older guy peon: Really? Well, lemme tell you something. Their hair down there is dark, straight, and soft.
Younger guy peon, thoughtfully: … Like a puppy dog’s ears?
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Beef and Ale
That’s When I Remember I Have Super Powers
Guy: This is about the time where I start feeling… not right. Like there’s something flowing through my body other than blood.
Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC
I Got That Ages Ago
Mom: Oooh, guess what I got while I was in Atlanta yesterday?
Daughter, faking excitement: Herpes?!
Mom: No, I got– Wait, what?!
Mall
Georgia
Overheard by: P‑Nuckle
Unlike These Ammunition Rounds, Which Are Totally Still Live
X‑ray machine attendant, picking stuffed panda up off belt: This one’s dead… He didn’t make it through the machine.
Airport
Los Angeles, California
Though I’m Not Sure Why We Need Giant Paperclips
Female peon: Personally, I can handle four inches without a problem. Doesn’t bother me.
1250 Broadway
New York, New York
Anyone Else Just Have a Startling Realization about the Energizer Bunny?
Order entry lady: It’s like they’re chasing each other around the apartment!
Shipping manager: Maybe they are.
Order entry lady: Well, he’s a little [whispers] fag. So, you know…
Shipping manager: Oh, yeah! Them people stay up all night! They got extra energy!
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
You Really Don’t Need a Monster Truck in the City
Office peon #1: I went to see monster trucks.
Office peon #2: I can’t see you watching monster trucks.
Office peon #1: It was so disappointing. You think there’s going to be all this destruction, but it’s really just a lot of smoke and noise. A flaming man did fall from the ceiling, though. That was pretty cool.
90 5th Avenue
New York, New York
