Customer: Hello, Phyllis, how are you today?
Worker: I’m not Phyllis, I’m Kay.
Customer: Your name tag says Phyllis.
Worker: No, it doesn’t. It says Kay, see? P‑H-Y… oops!… wrong name tag.
Westmoreland Mall
Greensburg, Pennsylvania
Archive for the ‘General Idiocy’ Category
If a Fax Falls in a Forest…
Secretary: If we fax something to someone, and our machine is out of ink, will they still get it?
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: Reception
4PM Clean Cube
Co-worker #1: Goodness! I can’t tell you how dusty this thing is.
Co-worker #2: Why not?
Co-worker #1: Because I don’t know the proper units of measurement for dust.
105 Arbor Drive
Christiansburg, Virginia
…With My Head Up My Butt and All.
Sous chef, passing behind inept intern: Behind you.
(intern backs into him)
Sous chef: Uh, hey…
Intern: I didn’t know which direction you were coming from!
Vermont
Overheard by: I know front from back
Why Do We All Act Like Cartoon Characters at Work? Discuss.
Program manager #1, in midst of cubical maze: Hey, where did all that bacon go?
Program manager #2, chanting happily: Bacon bacon bacon!
Utah
Overheard by: Snickering Intern
Way to Be Inflexible!
Cube rat to another: I just wouldn’t be able to sleep with myself if I did something like that to someone.
Oceanside, California
NewsFlash: Canadia’s Economy Mysteriously Falters!
Geeky cashier: How are you pay’n for this?
Guy in a hurry: Cash.
Geeky cashier: Like cash, cash?
Guy in a hurry: What?
Best Buy
Newmarket
Ontario, Canadia
10AM Shooting On Location
Crackhead: I know you… you are that guy from TV.
Ryan Seacrest: Yeah… it’s me
Crackhead: You’re that guy from Fear Factor.
Ryan Seacrest: No… I’m on that other show, American Idol… You might have heard of it?
Crackhead: Look at me… I ain’t got no TV.
6th Street
Austin, Texas
Our Ancestors Were Hunters, You Know
Male intern #1: Was she hot?
Male intern #2: She had a huge rack.
Female intern: (laughs)
Male intern #1: What? Are boobs funny now?
Female intern: No, he just didn’t really answer the question.
Male intern #2: Yeah, I did. He basically said “would you do her?” and I said “yeah.“
Female intern: No, I mean, if you just saw her face, would you say she was pretty?
Male intern #2: If I saw just her face?
Female intern: Yeah.
Male intern #2: I wouldn’t recognize her.
Des Moines, Iowa
Okay, Now What Does This “Crittle” Key Do?
Caller: I can’t seem to log into my account.
CS rep: Have you entered your username and password into the login fields?
Caller: Yes, I have.
CS rep: Okay now press the enter key.
Caller: Where’s the enter key?
Earthlink Customer Service
San Jose, California
