Coworker #1: Weather said 50% chance of rain.
Coworker #2: Psh! Yeah, right!
Coworker #3: But…it did rain.
Coworker #2: Yeah, a little. Like maybe fifty raindrops, but sure as hell no fifty percent.
9482 Ajax Road
McGregor Range, New Mexico
Archive for the ‘General Idiocy’ Category
3PM Coffee Break
Humanitarian #1: If only the Superdome were in better shape.
Humanitarian #2: I’ve been in the Superdome and the Astrodome.
Humanitarian #1: The Astrodome? Is that the Astros?
Humanitarian #2: No.
Humanitarian #1: What’s the Astrodome?
Humanitarian #2: It’s where the Astros played.
Humanitarian #1: Where do they play now?
1001 G Street NW
Washington, DC
It's a New Orleans Thing, Dear Reader
Operator setting up auto claim with customer on phone: Sir, I'm so sorry your car got stolen today. At least you babies and CDs are fine. I think you need to git you some whiskey to calm you down. Or just do what I do to calm myself down, cheer! “Who dat! Who dat! Who dat! Yayayayayaya! Who dat!”
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Wish I had my MP3 player today
What's the Finance Code for That?
Worker #1, about customer: How is it “annually” if she did it in September, and it's June now?
Worker #2: She's a moron.
Austin, Texas
But a Lot of People Feel That Way About Communism
Boss: So when it works, does it work?
CTO: When it's working, it should work.
Boss: Good, because if it didn't work when it worked that just wouldn't work.
Houston, Texas
Two in the Skull
Worker: Didn’t the doctor say that you have to lose weight because it was pressing down on your diaphragm and giving you breathing problems?
A/P drone: Men have diaphragms?
Century City, California
Overheard by: Squelch
Sharks, Snakes, and Legal Eagles Mostly
Worker #1 answers the phone: Hello?…No, this is a law firm. A law firm!
Worker #2: Who did they want?
Worker #1: The SPCA.
Worker #2: Heh.
Worker #1: Although there are a lot of animals working here.
120 West 45th Street
New York, NY
Once He Gets His Teeth into Something, He Will Not Let Go
Secretary #1: What is he doing now at the casino?
Secretary #2: I heard he got a good job as a Pit Bull.
New Jersey
Overheard by: bonbonr
That’s Why I’m the Fire Warden
Office chick #1: I want a small desk lamp for ambient lighting. A candle would rock… but I know most companies frown upon flammable things.
Office chick #2: Well, we have a flammable toaster oven, so I don’t see how a small candle would be any different.
Cherry Hill, New Jersey
Is History the One with the Quadratic Equations?
Chick: My father went to Timbuktu.
Dude: Where is that, again?
Chick: Some county in Africa.
Dude: Some country in Africa?
Chick: Yeah. Africa is like Europe — made up of lots of countries.
Dude: Oh. I was never good at history.
Chick: I think you mean geography.
Dude: Oh, yeah…
Dulwich Hill
Sydney
Australia