Admin #1: Do you know how to spell Kazakhstan?
Admin #2: I didn’t even know it existed.
79 Wellington Street W
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Archive for the ‘General Idiocy’ Category
2PM Follow Up with HR
Secretary: I could swear that I read that if you have a death in the family you automatically get two days off.
Nurse: Well, I looked it up in the protocol. You can have days off, but they’re just regular PTO.
Secretary: Right, I know they’re PTO, but I swear I read that they’re automatic if you have a death in the family.
Nurse: No, it’s like any other PTO, you have to have them approved by your supervisor.
Secretary: I swear I read that you get those days off for a family death.
Nurse: Well, I’m sure every supervisor would be happy to quickly approve your PTO if someone dies.
Secretary: Yeah, but I swear I read somewhere that you get two days automatically for that.
Nurse: Please, tell me one more time about how you read that somewhere.
Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
10AM Mail Contracts
Warehouse worker: Can you fax this document to a P.O. box for me?
Shipping clerk: Usually I would “fax” this to a P.O. Box for you [Gina], but my fax machine is down right now. So maybe you should “buy” a stamp and use the Postal Service for this one!
Warehouse worker: Oh, okay, thanks for the help. Where do we keep the
stamps and who works in the Postal Service?
495 3rd Street
Pineville, Louisiana
Overheard by: Lesn N. Tothem
Sarah Palin’s Original Platform in Alaska
Girl to coworker: I can’t stop complaining, I’m a woman!
Hudson Street
New York City, New York
The Clerk Used to Work at Starbucks
Customer: I need to get a dozen and a half, mixed.
Clerk, counting on her day-glo orange fingernails: It’d be cheaper if you got 18.
Customer: What’s the difference?
Clerk: ten cents.
Smirking customer: Ok, I’ll take 18.
Dunkin’ Donuts
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: are u kidding me?
And Now the Nightly News With Poet William Wordsworth
Sales drone: I thought nature was dead?
London
England
Overheard by: Bemused Techie
…That’s Almost a Good As Knowing an Idol Contestant!
Office lady #1: Did you hear? My buddy shot and killed someone Monday night.
Office lady #2: Uh, what?
Office lady #1: Yep, my buddy Tex! (scurries over to pick up newspaper to proudly show)
Office lady #2: Wow. That’s a bit strange.
Office lady #1: I know. Now I know someone that killed somebody!
Jacksonville, Florida
12PM All-Hands Meeting
CEO: It’s like the dog and the tail. The tail is the reward and happiness. The dog is how you get there, the hard work.
460 Phillip Street
Waterloo, Ontario
Canadia
Now Have the Good Grace to Look Ashamed Of Yourself
Library clerk to hobo taking food out of food drive box: Hey, you can’t just take that!
Hobo: Yo, I’m just cutting out the middleman, brother.
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Why’s That, Consuela?
African-American CSR to team manager: Sir, this customer says that he wants to speak to someone else. He says he doesn’t want to talk with a “nigger.“
Team manager: Ask him how he feels about talking to a gay Asian man.
Round Rock, Texas
