Director: September used to be a good month, until 9/11, whenever that was.
Atlanta, Georgia
Archive for the ‘General Idiocy’ Category
Um, I'll Just Put You Down As “Undecided.”
Boss: Are you homophobic?
Employee: I have an African American cousin! Of course I'm not homophobic!
Nashville, Tennessee
Now Put Your Hands in the Fare Like You Just Don't Care!
Bus driver: Give me a “ho” if you got your funky bus fare!
Passenger: Ho! (drops token in slot)
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
12PM Sensitivity Training
Boss: We need to account for shipping to the Stans. You know what the Stans are, right?…You know, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iranistan, Kakistan, Islamastan…
Employees: …
10418 Donner Pass Road
Truckee, California
Plenty of Space in That Hollow Skull
Boss: What about those materials needing to be sent out to our components?
Co-worker: Oh, I threw them in a box and shoved it under my chair. They were taking up too much room on my desk.
5205 Leesburg Pike
Falls Church, Virginia
Not Like When We Swam with the Sharks
Sub-editor: Hi, Ed*!
Designer: Hi, Jack*! I’ll try not to cut myself when you’re talking to me this time.
Australia
And Just Like That, Alan’s Frame of Reference Exploded
Interviewer: So, I see from your resume that you spent two years in Africa with the Peace Corps.
Interviewee: Yes.
Interviewer: Did you work with any minorities there?
Worcester, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I was the minority
It Took the Doctors 30 Minutes to Remove the Staple Remover
Project manager: From now on, when we staple, we do it in the top quarter inch of the page.
San Francisco International Airport
San Francisco, California
Sometimes It's Smarter to Say “I Don't Know”
Coworker to cubicle mate: Hey, Ana, what's an IP address?
Cubicle mate: It's an iPhone.
Coworker: Oh, okay. Thanks!
Connecticut
Overheard by: Senor IP
Well, Great, Glad You’re Right on Top of This
Blonde receptionist: Do you have any Krazy Glue?
Paralegal: I don’t think so. Why?
Blonde receptionist: My tooth fell out.
Paralegal: I think you need to see a dentist.
Blonde receptionist: No, my teeth are always falling out and I just Krazy Glue them back in.
Paralegal: Krazy Glue? Maybe that’s why you’ve been getting all those headaches…
Blonde receptionist: No, that’s because I quit smoking back in February.
Law office
Great Neck, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry