Boss: Did you leave this in the copier? It got jammed.
Employee: Yeah, I guess I did. Sorry.
Boss: If you and [Janet] ever got married, you’d have really stupid kids. I’m just saying.
777 Main Street
Fort Worth, Texas
Archive for the ‘General Idiocy’ Category
Yes, My Stack’s about to Overflow
Engineer: So, we think we got the problem with the RAM failures locked down.
Boss: You’ve really been engorged this week, haven’t you?
Engineer: What?
6540 Lusk Boulevard
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Im engorged this week…
…Or to Geography Class
Nurse #1: You better grab that. It’s leaning like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Nurse #2: Oh, I’ve never been to France.
339 Windermere Road
London, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Amanda
Those Are Real?
Account rep: Is this other elevator still broken?
Receptionist: Correct.
Account rep: But, but, isn’t that, like, a fire hazard?
Receptionist: Um, see those signs that say ‘In case of fire, do not use elevators’?
Account rep: Oh. Right.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: glad she’s not a firefighter
I Speak Several Sub-Saharan Languages
Boss: Can you come help me with this Excel thing? I deleted something that I needed.
Admin: Okay. Well, you should just click “undo”.
Boss: What's “clickundo”?
Dayton, Oregon
Overheard by: glad to be in a different department
12PM Lunch
Boss: She’s just too crazy for me. She’s…what’s the word? Phonetic!
Associate: She sounds things out?
480 San Antonio
Mountain View, California
Makes Me Grateful Just to Be Stupid
Office lady: This girl that was in the Paralympics has 1.5 arms and no legs below the knee. She won 5 medals in the games, and is an engineer.
Office guy: What? Like on a train?
Office lady: No… For BC Hydro, duh!
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: LJ
Your Answer Will Guide My Follow Up Questions
Coworker: I got rear-ended over the weekend!
VP: In your car?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: twoferrets
Send in the Clowns
Boss: Fuckin A, my head is still up my ass.
St. Louis County, Missouri
Overheard by: crackkitty
In Unrelated News, Can I Have Tomorrow Off?
Blonde coworker: But that's the problem with this country, people are lazy now, never put any thought or effort into anything. They're sloppy. Like, some guy passed a bank teller a “this is a holdup” note on the back of his damn pay stub from his job. I can't respect that kind of stupidity.
Manager: You know what? You would be a really good criminal. I mean that as a compliment.
Blonde coworker: I know, right? It's almost scary. I'd never get caught.
Chelmsford, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Not sure I want to sit by her anymore