Archive for the ‘General Idiocy’ Category

First Break the Employee’s Legs, Then Criticize the Way He Walks

GM: How were you days off?
Supervisor: Pretty good. Did some hiking.
GM: How was the conference?
Supervisor: What conference?
GM: I e-mailed you Wednesday about the loss prevention meeting on Thursday morning. I know it was short notice.
Supervisor: Thursday was my day off. Wednesday was my day off. I wasn’t here to check my e-mails.
GM: So you didn’t go to the mandatory meeting?
Supervisor: Um.
GM: You have to check your e-mail every day. No excuses.
Supervisor: I wasn’t here to check my e-mail.
GM: No excuses.

687 12th Street
Gresham, Oregon

Overheard by: I love 50 e-mails a day

4PM Order Crystal Ball

Department Head: I need everyone to let me know a day ahead if they want to use the car and that means whether or not you’ll be late because of traffic.
Worker: But how will we know we are stuck in traffic until we are actually stuck?
Department Head: That’s why I need to know a day ahead of time whether you’ll be late because of traffic.

626 Coronado Terrace
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: james Landry

3PM Bake Sale

Teacher #1: What are they raising all this money for?
Teacher #2: For this lady in the cleaning crew. Apparently, her purse was stolen and she lost nine hundred bucks that she was planning to send home to her family in Mexico.
Teacher #1: Where’s my nine hundred bucks? Since I started working here, I lost everything.

444 Pleasantville Road
Briarcliff Manor, New York

2PM Mail Card

Writer: The stupid mailroom is like the Gestapo now. They won’t mail this greeting card for me. Can you give me a stamp?
Designer: I guess so. I can get one at lunch for you.
Writer: Okay. Thanks. I’ll give you thirty-five cents for it.
Designer: Thirty-seven cents.
Writer: You’re charging a two-cent fee for a stamp? You’re worse than the damn mail room.

16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: Miel

11AM Go Through Inbox

Co-worker #1: Those jokes you emailed were really funny.
Co-worker #2: Yeah they were. Which one was your favorite?
Co-worker #1: Number twelve.
Co-worker #2: Which one was that one?
Co-worker #1: Um, the one right after number eleven, dork.

910 Lousiana Street
Houston, Texas