Archive for the ‘General Idiocy’ Category

If They Ever Get out of the Burn Unit

Guy: Why can’t you just have the party at your place?
Girl: ‘Cuz I lost my damage deposit after that one time when that guy caught himself on fire.
Guy: A guy caught himself on fire and you lost your deposit?
Girl: Well, he dropped and rolled on the carpet. Then someone tried to put out the embers with rum, so the carpet caught fire too.
Guy: ….
Girl: Yeah, no more parties at my place cuz I have stupid friends who totally owe me $500 now.

Eastlake
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Nosey

He Thinks People Are Coming On to Him When They Flip Him Off

Co-worker #1 gives co-worker #2 the hand signal for devil horns.
Co-worker #3, returning the signal: Loser.
Co-worker #1: What did you say that for?
Co-worker #3: You called me a loser, so I called you a loser.
Co-worker #1: I did not. I was giving Kelly* the devil horns.
Co-worker #3: Oh, sorry.
Co-worker #1: It’s okay. I guess it’s easy to think that people are calling you a loser because you still live with your parents.

800 Market Street
St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: We were supposed to be working

And They Always Get Grumpy When I Wear My “Go Palestininians!” Shirt.

Jewish executive: The CEO of [name] company is coming from Israel for negotiations.
Redneck executive (exasperated): I hate dealing with Israelis! They're the hardest people to negotiate with. They're never satisfied with any deal you work out.
Jewish executive: (silence)
Redneck executive: It's like water torture!
Peon: Um, I think that's the Chinese.

San Mateo, California