Inadequate manager called Chris*, muttering quietly to himself in different voices: You’re a hero, Chris. (pause) I know I am, Chris, I’m a real hero. (pause) Chris, I’m just the best.
Council Office
London
England
Archive for the ‘General Idiocy’ Category
Except for Some Reason I Keep Getting Pregnant
Coworker: If I ever have a kid, I’m going to send them to Catholic school. I went to Catholic school and I feel I got a gooder education.
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
Translation: “I Don’t Want to Quit, But I Don’t Want to Work Here.”
Loud partner to secretary, giving his lunch order: I don’t want it spicy, but I don’t want it un-spicy.
Secretary, pretending she knows exactly what he means: Oh, sure, okay.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: first year associate
4PM Call Repairman–again
Teacher: Fix the photocopier, it’s not working.
Secretary: What did you do to it?
Teacher: Nothing, it’s just jammed, unjam it.
Secretary: Oh my god, what is that smell…what did you do?
Teacher: Nothing.
Secretary: Did you put transparencies in here? Oh my god, you did! Dude! You can’t do that! They’ll melt! This is a colour photocopier.
Teacher: I wanted colour transparencies.
Secretary: You are so demoted to mimeograph!
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Sarcasm Is the Working Class’s Weapon Of Choice Against the Bourgeois
Random stranger: Is that the ATM from upstairs?
Worker, hauling ATM down hallway: Yep.
Random stranger: So now I can’t get money upstairs?
Worker: Oh, no. The money’s still there in a pile. Just take what you need.
Bethesda, Maryland
Their Presentation on the Buddha Left a Lot to Be Desired
IT guy #1: Asian. Asiaaaann.
IT guy #2: Like, 800 years old. A thousand. Thousands of years old.
IT guy #1: Asian. Asian. Asian.
43rd & Madison
New York City, New York
Overheard by: WTF?!
2PM Mailroom
Manager: So, I need to ship something to Belgium. Belgium is in the Netherlands, right?
15585 Highway 11 N
Cottondale, Alabama
Overheard by: BAMA
11AM Work on Project
Co-worker #1: Well, it’s not going to be ready now…
Co-worker #2: I don’t think it’s due to be done until the due date.
1 Penn Plaza
New York, NY
When You Fall Over, There’s a Lot of Quacking and Pecking
Receptionist: I have great news!
Nurse: What?
Receptionist: I got accepted into grad school! But I’m scared.
Nurse: Why?
Receptionist: I haven’t been in school in a long time.
Nurse: You’ll be fine — it’s like falling off a duck’s back.
1917 20th Street South
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Eavesdropping grad student
12PM Monitor Calls
CSR: Oh, you work on computers? You probably know more than I do so this should be an easy call, huh?
25 Brooklyn Avenue
Forsyth, Georgia
