Archive for the ‘Gays and lesbians’ Category

Why “Em­ploy­ees Must Wash Hands” Signs Ex­ist

Gay serv­er #1: We’ll be meet­ing that non-les­bian who looks just like a guy.
Gay serv­er #2: Dibs on her anus.
[pause]Gay serv­er #1: It’s al­ways about the anus with you, is­n’t it?

Cir­cle Cen­tre Mall
In­di­anapo­lis, In­di­ana

Over­heard by: Shat­man­du

Why Gay Porn Stars Are So Healthy

Gay hair­styl­ist: But peo­ple who have anal don’t get pros­trate can­cer…
Man­ag­er: They on­ly get he­m­or­rhoids.
Gay hair­styl­ist: That’s true, af­ter a while it looks like a cau­li­flower. But, any­way, we do not get prostate can­cer, be­cause the cock acts like a mas­sage ther­a­pist.
Man­ag­er: Ri­i­i­i­ight!

Sao Paulo

I Did Watch Every Sea­son Of Veron­i­ca’s Clos­et, If That’s What You Mean

Straight cube-dweller, about hole punch: Well, it should­n’t go there. It should be out in the open on the desk where I can see it.
Gay cube-dweller: What, you could­n’t see it sit­ting there?
Straight cube-dweller: Well, it lives on my desk, not in the clos­et.
Gay cube-dweller: It’s a shelf above your desk, not a clos­et.
Straight cube-dweller: Well, you would know more about clos­ets than shelves, would­n’t you?

West Lafayette, In­di­ana

Take What, Ex­act­ly? No, Don’t Tell Me.

Cute gay guy: Tome Cruise and Katie Holmes were look­ing for an apart­ment on my street.
Fe­male cowork­er: Oh, re­al­ly?
Cute gay guy: Yeah, I live on Toorak Road. If they move there, I wan­na steal Suri. And have crazy bum sex on my bal­cony! (demon­strates by thrust­ing in the air) Take that, Sci­en­tol­ogy!


Over­heard by: Gig­gling

You De­served That Look, Sweet­ie

Queer ad­min guy #1: They made an­oth­er round of changes, so I had to go out and get more binders. Those thick ones are re­al­ly ex­pen­sive, too.
Queer ad­min guy #2: What were they, four inch­es?
Queer ad­min guy #1: I got the three-inch ones, I think.
Straight ad­min girl: But is three inch­es enough? Do you think?
Queer ad­min guy #2: (gives her a look)
Straight ad­min girl: No! No no no no no!

Man­hat­tan, New York

Over­heard by: Scoot­er