Old lady: I like them when they’re big and juicy like that.
Older lady: Yeah, all dark and purpley, so good.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category
Perhaps Better Equipped, Though
Woman flipping through old textbook: In my ideal world, all Davids are naked.
Oldferry Road
Bristol, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Amy
Brain Food?
Guy: Do you think it’s possible to be allergic to… you know?
Girl: No, I don’t know…
Guy: Sure you do.
Girl: No, I don’t know what ‘you know’ is!
Guy: Yes, you know!
Girl: What? You mean, like, condoms?
Guy: No, like you know — vagina…
Girl: Why on earth would anybody be allergic to vagina?!
Guy: Cause, you know, it’s like fish.
Customer service call center
Montreal, Quebec
Canadia
Overheard by: MBN
Cut Scenes from Midnight Cowboy
Bus driver: Your bus pass isn’t working.
Passenger: Sorry, man, it should. I just got it yesterday… It’s new.
Bus driver: It’s just not working… Just come on anyway. I love you, man.
Passenger: Thanks, bro. I love you, too.
Downtown bus terminal
New York, New York
Kinda Like How I’m Dyslexic After Four Vodka Tonics
Girl #1: I feel bad for that kid, Matt*.
Girl #2: Which one? That loud kid?
Girl #1: Well yeah, the loud kid, but he has Asperger’s syndrome, so he kind of doesn’t get it, you know?
Guy: I once had a roommate that thought he had Asperger’s, and I was always like, “man, shut up. You just did too much coke again.”
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Can We Get through One Meal Without You Asking That?
Lunch mate #1: We should be parts of the reproductive system for Halloween.
Lunch mate #2: Oooooh, can I be a clitoris?!”
Scarborough
Canadia
Overheard by: Cnote
At Telekinetic Typing School
Woman to friend: I can do it now without using my finger…I’m getting better!
Austin, Texas
In a Vain Attempt to Distract Me
Worker: Sexual relations-wise, it’s been a while.
Friend: Oh, really?
Worker: The last time was the Superbowl, cause I remember she blew me at halftime.
Sunset Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Every Angelina Jolie Movie: Encapsulated.
30-something redhead to older male lunch companion: I’m kind of disgusted with my current job in law enforcement. I’m thinking of a career change to either a highly-paid call girl or an assassin.
Older male lunch companion: Well, you’re awesome at sex, and you *do* know how to kill people…
Restaurant
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
What’s Less Cute Than a Man Who Used to Be a Cute Boy?
Aspiring movie critic #1: I don’t think Zac Efron will ever be able to do anything but High School Musical.
Aspiring movie critic #2: I know. He’ll be like…the gym teacher in High School Musical 30.
Richmond, Virginia
