Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category

Is He the Same One Whose Stomach Exploded from Pop Rocks and Soda?

Chubby secretary: So, my friend from college was roommates with this guy who went to high school with this girl whose brother was eaten by Jeffrey Dahmer!
Friend: Oh my god! You could have been killed!

Tampa, Florida

A Dramatic Re-Enactment Of the Napster Debacle

Queer (in tears): What you did hurt me, it hurt me to the core!
Fag hag: What are you talking about?
Queer: That was my song, I sing that song–you stole it from me!
Fag hag: It’s a song, it’s karaoke…fucking get over it!
Queer (still in tears): You don’t understand, it’s my song!

Brooklyn, New York

Brain Food?

Guy: Do you think it’s possible to be allergic to… you know?
Girl: No, I don’t know…
Guy: Sure you do.
Girl: No, I don’t know what ‘you know’ is!
Guy: Yes, you know!
Girl: What? You mean, like, condoms?
Guy: No, like you know — vagina…
Girl: Why on earth would anybody be allergic to vagina?!
Guy: Cause, you know, it’s like fish.

Customer service call center
Montreal, Quebec
Canadia

Overheard by: MBN

They Tried to Protect Me from the Horrors of White-Flour Noodles

Girl: Did you ever eat SpaghettiO’s when you were a kid?
Guy: No, my parents loved me.

Grocery Store
Vancouver, Washington

Just a Matter of Time for the UN

Young male employee to friend: I mean there’s no strippers in cages or anything, but it looks like it could turn into that kind of place, you know?

Avenue of the Americas
New York City, New York

Have You Considered Art School?

Girl #1: I should be a professional killer
Girl #2: What are you talking about?
Girl #1: Well, I was really good in riflery in camp. I hate people. And I love wearing black.

40 West 57th Street
New York, New York

You Should Write All Important Memos There

Girl holding can of soup: Well, one can makes soup for more than one person.
Guy staring blankly: Uh-huh.
Girl: So, how many do you want to get?
Guy: I can totally see down your shirt, by the way. Now, what?
Girl: Were you listening to a word I was saying?!
Guy: No, I was staring at your breasts.

Red River H‑E-B supermarket
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Natalie