Bus driver: Your bus pass isn’t working.
Passenger: Sorry, man, it should. I just got it yesterday… It’s new.
Bus driver: It’s just not working… Just come on anyway. I love you, man.
Passenger: Thanks, bro. I love you, too.
Downtown bus terminal
New York, New York
Girl #1: I feel bad for that kid, Matt*.
Girl #2: Which one? That loud kid?
Girl #1: Well yeah, the loud kid, but he has Asperger’s syndrome, so he kind of doesn’t get it, you know?
Guy: I once had a roommate that thought he had Asperger’s, and I was always like, “man, shut up. You just did too much coke again.”
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Lunch mate #1: We should be parts of the reproductive system for Halloween.
Lunch mate #2: Oooooh, can I be a clitoris?!”
Scarborough
Canadia
Overheard by: Cnote
Woman to friend: I can do it now without using my finger…I’m getting better!
Austin, Texas
Worker: Sexual relations-wise, it’s been a while.
Friend: Oh, really?
Worker: The last time was the Superbowl, cause I remember she blew me at halftime.
Sunset Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
30-something redhead to older male lunch companion: I’m kind of disgusted with my current job in law enforcement. I’m thinking of a career change to either a highly-paid call girl or an assassin.
Older male lunch companion: Well, you’re awesome at sex, and you *do* know how to kill people…
Restaurant
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Aspiring movie critic #1: I don’t think Zac Efron will ever be able to do anything but High School Musical.
Aspiring movie critic #2: I know. He’ll be like…the gym teacher in High School Musical 30.
Richmond, Virginia
Co-worker #1: Man! Sasha* is on the phone every time I go over there to talk to her.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, you’re right! She is! You know who else is on the phone a lot? Latoya*.
Co-worker #1: … She’s the receptionist…
Tysons Corner, Virginia
Girl on phone, trying to find job while looking up: Which building are you in? The one with the glass windows?
Atlanta, Georgia
Gay server #1: We’ll be meeting that non-lesbian who looks just like a guy.
Gay server #2: Dibs on her anus.
[pause]Gay server #1: It’s always about the anus with you, isn’t it?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
