30-something redhead to older male lunch companion: I'm kind of disgusted with my current job in law enforcement. I'm thinking of a career change to either a highly-paid call girl or an assassin.
Older male lunch companion: Well, you're awesome at sex, and you *do* know how to kill people…
Restaurant
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Aspiring movie critic #1: I don't think Zac Efron will ever be able to do anything but High School Musical.
Aspiring movie critic #2: I know. He'll be like…the gym teacher in High School Musical 30.
Richmond, Virginia
Co-worker #1: Man! Sasha* is on the phone every time I go over there to talk to her.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, you’re right! She is! You know who else is on the phone a lot? Latoya*.
Co-worker #1: … She’s the receptionist…
Tysons Corner, Virginia
Girl on phone, trying to find job while looking up: Which building are you in? The one with the glass windows?
Atlanta, Georgia
Gay server #1: We’ll be meeting that non-lesbian who looks just like a guy.
Gay server #2: Dibs on her anus.
[pause]Gay server #1: It’s always about the anus with you, isn’t it?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Girl: Did you notice the way their baby looked?
Guy: Um, yeah.
Girl: It’s because she didn’t do drugs or alcohol when she was pregnant. It makes a big difference, you know? That’s why the baby is so smart.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Person #1: My vagina is as fucked as the Gaza strip.
Person #2: Can I suggest a nice Jewish gyno?
Person #1: I don't want her to colonize my vag. Monistat will work just fine.
Person #2: You could just shove some Challah bread up there and have the yeast go to town on your sorry ghettoized crotch.
Boston, Massachusetts
Old lady #1: They'll be all “whats that white stuff on yo' face?”
Old lady #2: Just tell 'em it's White-Out or something…
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Man #1: How's your grandfather?
Man #2: Good. We were really lucky to see him.
Man #1: Yeah?
Man #2: Yeah. He had surgery to take out his colon.
Elevator, Park Ave
New York City, New York
Chick: My father went to Timbuktu.
Dude: Where is that, again?
Chick: Some county in Africa.
Dude: Some country in Africa?
Chick: Yeah. Africa is like Europe — made up of lots of countries.
Dude: Oh. I was never good at history.
Chick: I think you mean geography.
Dude: Oh, yeah…
Dulwich Hill
Sydney
Australia