Lunch mate #1: We should be parts of the reproductive system for Halloween.
Lunch mate #2: Oooooh, can I be a clitoris?!”
Scarborough
Canadia
Overheard by: Cnote
Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category
At Telekinetic Typing School
Woman to friend: I can do it now without using my finger…I'm getting better!
Austin, Texas
In a Vain Attempt to Distract Me
Worker: Sexual relations-wise, it's been a while.
Friend: Oh, really?
Worker: The last time was the Superbowl, cause I remember she blew me at halftime.
Sunset Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Every Angelina Jolie Movie: Encapsulated.
30-something redhead to older male lunch companion: I'm kind of disgusted with my current job in law enforcement. I'm thinking of a career change to either a highly-paid call girl or an assassin.
Older male lunch companion: Well, you're awesome at sex, and you *do* know how to kill people…
Restaurant
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
What's Less Cute Than a Man Who Used to Be a Cute Boy?
Aspiring movie critic #1: I don't think Zac Efron will ever be able to do anything but High School Musical.
Aspiring movie critic #2: I know. He'll be like…the gym teacher in High School Musical 30.
Richmond, Virginia
You’re Less Fun Every Time I Talk to You
Co-worker #1: Man! Sasha* is on the phone every time I go over there to talk to her.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, you’re right! She is! You know who else is on the phone a lot? Latoya*.
Co-worker #1: … She’s the receptionist…
Tysons Corner, Virginia
Yes.
Girl on phone, trying to find job while looking up: Which building are you in? The one with the glass windows?
Atlanta, Georgia
Why “Employees Must Wash Hands” Signs Exist
Gay server #1: We’ll be meeting that non-lesbian who looks just like a guy.
Gay server #2: Dibs on her anus.
[pause]Gay server #1: It’s always about the anus with you, isn’t it?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
And She Was So Smart for Figuring That Out
Girl: Did you notice the way their baby looked?
Guy: Um, yeah.
Girl: It’s because she didn’t do drugs or alcohol when she was pregnant. It makes a big difference, you know? That’s why the baby is so smart.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Now If Only We Could Figure Out a Way to Blame This on Men…
Person #1: My vagina is as fucked as the Gaza strip.
Person #2: Can I suggest a nice Jewish gyno?
Person #1: I don't want her to colonize my vag. Monistat will work just fine.
Person #2: You could just shove some Challah bread up there and have the yeast go to town on your sorry ghettoized crotch.
Boston, Massachusetts