Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category

You Should Write All Im­por­tant Mem­os There

Girl hold­ing can of soup: Well, one can makes soup for more than one per­son.
Guy star­ing blankly: Uh-huh.
Girl: So, how many do you want to get?
Guy: I can to­tal­ly see down your shirt, by the way. Now, what?
Girl: Were you lis­ten­ing to a word I was say­ing?!
Guy: No, I was star­ing at your breasts.

Red Riv­er H‑E-B su­per­mar­ket
Austin, Texas

Over­heard by: Na­tal­ie

Brain Food?

Guy: Do you think it’s pos­si­ble to be al­ler­gic to… you know?
Girl: No, I don’t know…
Guy: Sure you do.
Girl: No, I don’t know what ‘you know’ is!
Guy: Yes, you know!
Girl: What? You mean, like, con­doms?
Guy: No, like you know — vagi­na…
Girl: Why on earth would any­body be al­ler­gic to vagi­na?!
Guy: Cause, you know, it’s like fish.

Cus­tomer ser­vice call cen­ter
Mon­tre­al, Que­bec
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: MBN

Cut Scenes from Mid­night Cow­boy

Bus dri­ver: Your bus pass is­n’t work­ing.
Pas­sen­ger: Sor­ry, man, it should. I just got it yes­ter­day… It’s new.
Bus dri­ver: It’s just not work­ing… Just come on any­way. I love you, man.
Pas­sen­ger: Thanks, bro. I love you, too.

Down­town bus ter­mi­nal
New York, New York

Kin­da Like How I’m Dyslex­ic Af­ter Four Vod­ka Ton­ics

Girl #1: I feel bad for that kid, Matt*.
Girl #2: Which one? That loud kid?
Girl #1: Well yeah, the loud kid, but he has As­perg­er’s syn­drome, so he kind of does­n’t get it, you know?
Guy: I once had a room­mate that thought he had As­perg­er’s, and I was al­ways like, “man, shut up. You just did too much coke again.”

Bal­ti­more, Mary­land

Over­heard by: Lab­Cat