Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category

Cut Scenes from Mid­night Cow­boy

Bus dri­ver: Your bus pass is­n’t work­ing.
Pas­sen­ger: Sor­ry, man, it should. I just got it yes­ter­day… It’s new.
Bus dri­ver: It’s just not work­ing… Just come on any­way. I love you, man.
Pas­sen­ger: Thanks, bro. I love you, too.

Down­town bus ter­mi­nal
New York, New York

Kin­da Like How I’m Dyslex­ic Af­ter Four Vod­ka Ton­ics

Girl #1: I feel bad for that kid, Matt*.
Girl #2: Which one? That loud kid?
Girl #1: Well yeah, the loud kid, but he has As­perg­er’s syn­drome, so he kind of does­n’t get it, you know?
Guy: I once had a room­mate that thought he had As­perg­er’s, and I was al­ways like, “man, shut up. You just did too much coke again.”

Bal­ti­more, Mary­land

Over­heard by: Lab­Cat

Every An­geli­na Jolie Movie: En­cap­su­lat­ed.

30-some­thing red­head to old­er male lunch com­pan­ion: I’m kind of dis­gust­ed with my cur­rent job in law en­force­ment. I’m think­ing of a ca­reer change to ei­ther a high­ly-paid call girl or an as­sas­sin.
Old­er male lunch com­pan­ion: Well, you’re awe­some at sex, and you *do* know how to kill peo­ple…

Restau­rant
Ba­ton Rouge, Louisiana

Why “Em­ploy­ees Must Wash Hands” Signs Ex­ist

Gay serv­er #1: We’ll be meet­ing that non-les­bian who looks just like a guy.
Gay serv­er #2: Dibs on her anus.
[pause]Gay serv­er #1: It’s al­ways about the anus with you, is­n’t it?

Cir­cle Cen­tre Mall
In­di­anapo­lis, In­di­ana

Over­heard by: Shat­man­du