Banker: Yeah, he’s losin’ his eyesight…He can barely see now. He’s got that immaculate degeneration or whatever it’s called. But he still builds things with power tools. It’s pretty amazing…but kinda scary.
200 Nationwide Boulevard
Columbus, Ohio
Archive for the ‘Financial Folk’ Category
I’m Not Quite Following You…
Bank teller: Ma’am, from now on if you want your balance you’ll need to request it.
Customer: How do I request it?
Bank teller: Well, ma’am, you just ask me for it.
Houston, Texas
Whose Idea Were Tobacco Pacifiers, Anyway?
Products VP: Everyone who makes this crap is just as fucked as we are.
Finance VP: If only no one put this in their mouths…
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Probably for Historical Reasons
Assistant: They’ve already designed the corn maze for a Lewis & Clark theme.
Account executive: Why did they choose Superman?
Assistant: [Stumped silence.]
Thomas Street
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Pants
We’re All Scared Of the X‑File
Finance clerk: Every time she comes in here, he grabs it and pulls it out, and she runs away.
Vienna, Virginia
Overheard by: Receptionitis
Happens to Every Guy at Some Point
Lowly finance clerk to director: What’d you lose?
Director: The eyeball from my carrot.
Nunavut
Canada
Overheard by: Finance Officer #3
Your Editors Were Shock‑G-ed to See How Long Ago That Was
Business analyst on phone: Hey, what do you need? The name of the user guide? It’s the digital one… No, the digital guide. You know, like Digital Underground, only without Tupac… No, biggie wasn’t in Digital Underground… Humpty Hump was… No, the guy with the gold nose… Okay, it’s “h”… “u”… “m”…
Chantilly, Virginia
Overheard by: CubeRat
1PM Refueling
Power broker #1: Two large cappuccinos.
Cashier: Thank you. That will be $4.50.
Power broker #1: Where’s the cinnamon?
Cashier: I’m sorry, we’re out of cinnamon.
Power broker #1: Then I don’t want it!
Cashier: Excuse me?
Power broker #2: Okay, let’s just bring it back to the office.
Power broker #1: No! Just give me my money back. I can’t drink the foamy milk without the cinnamon.
100 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Mark
3PM Customer Service
Bank teller: I was working drive-through this morning and offered a customer a bone for her dog in the back seat.
Associate: I think it’s nice that we do that.
Bank teller: The customer said it wasn’t a dog, it was her mother.
801 West Big Beaver Road
Troy, Michigan
Business Has Been Crappy Everywhere
Coworker on phone to business contact: So, are you talking about fecal year 2008 or 2009?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: analyst
