Financial specialist, in front of his pregnant wife/coworker: God, I would nail someone if they had some bacon right now!
Wife/coworker: What the hell is wrong with you?
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: God Help Me
Archive for the ‘Financial Folk’ Category
Which Means I Don’t Understand the Question
Mortgage rep: And, finally, may I ask you what race you are? Caucasian, African-American…
Customer: I’m Canadian.
Fairfield County, Connecticut
Michael Douglas Reprises His ‘Greed Is Good’ Speech From Wall Street
Broker on phone: Blame it on greed…Uh huh…No, I’m saying that greed is a well-known, widely accepted motivator, so just say it was greed. They’ll understand.
10960 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Eavesdropper
When Software Is Too Soft
Finance clerk: I couldn't get it up!
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: Receptionitis
10AM File Referral
Banker #1: How do you file an old CD referral?
Banker #2: Well you submit it and cancel it and submit it and cancel it and repeat that 5 times, and then wash your hands…Oh, I thought you said OCD referral. Like obsessive-compul–
Banker #1: I get it.
1241 South Wabash Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Teddy
Then It's a Great Analogy
Financial analyst: This might be a bad analogy, but it's like this: if there's a guy up on the roof of a house and he's throwing babies off, and you just barely catch the first couple of babies, it might mean that's not a very good strategy and what you really need to do is get someone to go up on the roof and get the guy down.
Coworker: You ever notice how whenever you start a sentence that way, a hush falls over the area?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: MPW
Well, It’s Like I Always Say: Children Come First
Male bank president: My daughter’s gonna letter in high school track this year.
Female vice president: Oh?
Male bank president: Yeah, she’s a runner. All year I’ve been taking her out on country roads to let her spread her legs.
Female vice president, under her breath: Putz!
1105 Vargas Street
Atwood, Kansas
3PM Customer Service
Bank teller: I was working drive-through this morning and offered a customer a bone for her dog in the back seat.
Associate: I think it’s nice that we do that.
Bank teller: The customer said it wasn’t a dog, it was her mother.
801 West Big Beaver Road
Troy, Michigan
I Believe I'll Eat at My Desk Today
Accounting girl, walking into the lunchroom: Hey, it smells really good in here!
Project manager: Yeah that's cause I farted.
Calgary
Canadia
What With the Gulf Turmoil Spill
Loan officer: Things are uncertain in America. They want to cash out on their equity because things are turmoilous.
Marlborough, Massachusetts