Archive for the ‘Feelings’ Category

Anyway, Long Story Short: I Spill Caulk on Myself at Least Once a Day Now, Though Usually at Night

Retiree visiting the office: I was working on the windows and running around the yard with my caulk in my hand, and I have this neighbor, Dave*, who was standing in the bushes, and I didn’t see him. But Dave scared me and there was caulk everywhere — caulk all over the windows and caulk on my hands. No, I’m serious, there were inches of it coming out! You guys aren’t even listening to me! I didn’t know what to do about all of the caulk on my hands but I called the 800 number on the side of it and the guy said that friction could get it off.

110 Nelson Road
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Canadia

Don’t Put Him to Sleep Until After the Raise

Employee: Why can’t you just install that for me?
Supervisor: Because I’m not going to spend an hour out of my day installing this on your crappy computer only to find out that it still doesn’t work and end up spending even more of my precious time trying to fix something that isn’t fixable and wind up making my life hell by hearing you bitch about this all the time. Only to make you happy.
Employee: So, is that a no?
Supervisor: You’re damn right it is.
Employee: Well, then can I just get a new computer so I won’t have this problem?
Supervisor: Fine. Anything to get you off my back.
Employee: Can I get a raise?
Supervisor: Don’t push it.
Employee: I think you need to take a nap.

1801 E. 9th Street
Cleveland, Ohio