Archive for the ‘Feelings’ Category

And He’d Only Hold the Bus Driver at Knifepoint Some Of the Time

Female coworker, about current object of infatuation: Oh…he is so cute, you have to see him. I just love him. I will bring in his mugshot.
Male coworker: He has a mugshot?
Female coworker: Yeah, but he only beats his girlfriends when he is on drugs. He is so sweet. He used to save me a seat on the bus when we were in school.

Mountville, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Mindy

Was It Better When People Didn’t Discuss Their Vaginas at Work? Discuss.

Super pregnant co-worker to new hire: Oh my god, it’s like I can feel his face pushing up against my vagina whenever I walk!
(new hire stares in stunned silence)
Super pregnant co-worker, attempting to backpedal: Well, I mean, not all the time. But if I walk really fast then I get worried it’ll mess up his face! Like, “woah, dude, what happened to your nose?” “My mom had a really heavy gait when I was in utero, man.”

New Jersey

Overheard by: So, what does it feel like when you sit?