Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

3PM Cof­fee Break

EA: …she’s still learn­ing to change a di­a­per and all that.
Suit: Re­al­ly?
EA: Yeah, but it’s been ex­tra hard emo­tion­al­ly be­cause our fam­i­ly is re­al­ly strict and my dad still can’t ad­mit to him­self that this hap­pened. All he’s said is, “I sent you to pri­vate school! Don’t they have sex ed there?” and “How could this hap­pen?” Which does­n’t help her at all.
Suit: No, prob­a­bly not.
EA: It’s like, “Dad, the ba­by is al­ready here, get a grip.” But, well, she’s the ba­by of the fam­i­ly and I guess we all know how fa­thers are.
Suit: No, ac­tu­al­ly, I don’t. I nev­er met mine.

40 IDX Dri­ve
South Burling­ton, Ver­mont

Over­heard by: Bub­ble Wrap THIS

You Are a Bad Man

Cube rat #1: You’ve got to be shit­ting me… My grand­ma is try­ing to add me on My­Space.
Cube rat #2: That’s sort of sweet.
Cube rat #1: I’m her sec­ond friend. I did­n’t know she knew what a com­put­er was…
Cube rat #2: Dude, pop her com­ment cher­ry!

1932 Wild­cat Canyon Road
San Diego, Cal­i­for­nia

Self-Test: Are You More Pa­thet­ic at Work or at Home?

Cowork­er #1: And I still had this stom­ach bug, but I’d just drank all this fruit punch, and my mom was call­ing me, and I made in­to the hall­way be­fore I puked fruit punch all over the wall, and I was like “I’m com­ing, mom!“
Cowork­er #2: Oh, god, how old were you?
Cowork­er #1: This was like six months ago.

Co­lum­bia, Mis­souri

Speak­ing of Porn Ad­dicts

Con­sul­tant on phone with spouse: Oh, I’m just read­ing a blog post about a woman fly­ing from San Fran­cis­co to Newark, and this guy sit­ting next to her start­ing to watch hard­core porn on his lap­top… Well I’d hope he was wear­ing head­phones! Did your fa­ther feed the ba­by yo­gurt again?

5th and Mar­ket
San Fran­cis­co, Cal­i­for­nia

Un­less Our Of­fices Have Bar Stools, No One Will Ever Know

Of­fice girl: Is the com­pa­ny start­ing a cloning pro­gram? You two are ex­act­ly the same.
New girl #1: Yeah, I know…except that she had a ba­by, and I did­n’t.
New girl #2: Right, so the on­ly way you can tell the dif­fer­ence be­tween us is the size of our hoo-hoos.

Scar­bor­ough
On­tario
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: C.note