Ghetto fabulous phone operator in auto insurance claim office: What that smell is? That's just raunchy! They need to go outside with that smell!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Sick of sitting nearby this person
Archive for the ‘Employees’ Category
The Board Voted “Neigh” on This Proposal
Female worker: That's my cue to saddle up! (mimes mounting a horse)
Morris Plains, New Jersey
Overheard by: Intern in the next Cube
Will You Wear Your Corset and Shiny Black Boots Again?
HR woman on phone with rep at staffing agency: I will drive over there and I will smack you; and then I will fire you in front of your peers.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Anony Mouse
If a New Jersey Resident Falls in His Kitchen, And No One Is Around to See It, Is It Still Funny?
Employee #1: Well, you should move to New Jersey. There are great apartments in my complex.
Employee #2: I don’t know that I want to move out there.
Employee #1: The apartments are great, lots of closet space, granite countertops in the kitchen.
Employee #2: I don’t want granite counters. If I fall and hit my head on them, it would hurt.
1 Liberty Plaza
New York, New York
…With That Bucket Of Baby Wipes
Male employee #1: I'm gonna go take a shit.
Female employee: I did not need to hear that.
Male employee #1: Well, it's so you know why I'll be gone so long.
Male employee #2: Well, you could be doing something else…
Kent, Ohio
I Can't Believe She Demonstrated.
Employee #1: I don't know why he doesn't like it, it's just vaseline. It's not like I put it on my vagina.
Employee #2: Wow.
Employee #3: She just said that out loud.
Denver, Colorado
I Was Talking to Bruce Springsteen
Employee: Nice skirt, boss!
Boss: I'm wearing pants.
Anchorage, Alaska
“Egg”– Yeah, Right
Colleague, in distress: Oh my gosh! It squirted me! I cannot believe there is egg all over my face!
Orlando, Florida
Latte Sleepers. Duh.
Old German woman: Do you have any coffee grinders?
Starbucks barista: No, we don't sell them here.
Old German woman: Do you know where I could find one?
Starbucks barista: Well, you could try another Starbucks, or Bed Bath & Beyond.
Old German woman: How illogical! Who would want to grind coffee in bed?!
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: it be beyond
And You're Positive You Don't Want to Revise That?
Male employee: This chocolate is divine.
Female employee: What did you say?
Male employee: This chocolate is… divine?
Emeryville, California