Manager: Go home every day and watch Dukes of Hazzard. Problem solved.
Friendly’s Ice Cream
Convent Station, New Jersey
Manager: Go home every day and watch Dukes of Hazzard. Problem solved.
Friendly’s Ice Cream
Convent Station, New Jersey
Store clerk to another: Next year I’m going to be totally not pregnant and I’m going to get wasted!
Richland, Missouri
Overheard by: Mac
Repair tech: My customer just called in and told me that his trans-vaginal probe is vibrating.
Cube dweller: And that’s a problem because…?
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Employee to another, arranging pretzels on display: You know, you’re supposed to hang these straight, but if you hang them crooked they are more tantalizing.…tantalizing like crack.
Birmingham, Alabama
College secretary: George loved my dip!
College rep: He also likes penis.
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: it’s true
Patient: What day is today?
Staff: Today is Thursday.
Patient: Hmmm… Is it last Thursday?
Staff: No, it’s this Thursday.
Patient: Oh.
Psychiatric hospital
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Another staff member
Employee, about to move from a large cubicle to a much smaller one: It’s like I’m going to be living in a brothel!
Coworker: I think you mean “slum.”
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
Employee #1: He doesn’t do anything, but he makes great presentations.
Employee #2: He gives good slide?
Employee #1: Exactly.
600 Technology Park Drive
Billerica, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Jeff Dietz
Old office assistant: Would you like a rubber finger?
Young assistant: Uhh…
Old office assistant: I’m going to give you the finger.
Towson University
Maryland
Operations manager: What are some of your goals?
New hire: I want to have babies!
Operations manager: Ok… Do you have any goals in regards to your future with our company?
New hire: Sure, I want to do my job right, but I was really just born to have babies.
Dallas Parkway
Dallas
Overheard by: Addy
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist