Camp coordinator on cell with staff: So wait… They took your shoes and started chewing on them? (pause) But are your shoes okay now? (pause) Well, that’s good then, at least. Sometimes I wonder why I work with children.
Ontario
Canada
Overheard by: Camp really is a magical place…
New girl: I’m going downstairs for a smoke before we start checking over. Do you want to come?
Supervisor: No thanks, I just think I’ll sit here and fiddle…not with myself!
New girl: Whatever you want to do in your own time.
Supervisor: Hur-hur, yeah, I just sit here and fiddle with myself to unwind. (later, realising new girl has left) Fiddle.
Chiswick Park
London
England
Overheard by: choking on a coke
Boss: So, what do you like about working here?
Employee: Well, I really like that working here, you have your hands on the pulse of campus.
Boss: I’m sorry, did you say “the balls of campus”?
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Didshereallythinkshesaidthat?
Worker bee: Is the meeting in room 1 finished?
Peon: I don’t know, is anyone in there?
Worker bee: No, it’s empty.
Peon: Then the meeting’s probably finished.
Bristol
England
Overheard by: Stephanie
Admin assistant: What do you mean you don’t have sex? You live with your boyfriend!
Receptionist: Yeah, once you have the fish in the boat, there’s no reason to keep throwing out the lure.
12th Street
Portland, Oregon
Office guy: Yo, why they always gotta play porn music when I’m on hold?
Queens, New York
Cube clown: My mother used to do weird stuff when I was growing up. Like, I still sleep with my foot outside the covers, and she used to crawl in on her hands and knees and grab my foot.
Dallas, Texas
Operator: Thank you for calling Bayshore Medical Insurance*; how can I assist?
Caller: So who are you?
Operator: We’re an insurance company.
Caller: And what do you do?
Operator: We help you with your insurance.
Caller: I don’t understand.
Operator: Well, your boss gives you benefits for working there, and our job is to help you use your benefits.
Caller: I don’t have any benefits! I never signed up for this! Did my boss tell you to call me? Is he trying to set me up? Who told you to call me?
Operator: Sir, you called me.
Market Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: The Man
Insurance adjuster: Some guy decides to go chasing buffalo through a field with his pickup and now I have to make a long drive.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Pharmacist: Okay, that prescription will be filled in 45 minutes.
Old man: Oh my, I’ll be dead by then!
Santa Barbara, California
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
