Coworker to office administrator: Why did you send me this e‑mail twice?
Office admin: Because they sent it to me twice.
Coworker: So why did you send it to me twice?
Office admin: Because I thought it would only take you five seconds to delete.
Coworker: Didn’t you look at it before you sent it to me?
Office admin: Yes… but I didn’t send you the pornographic e‑mail that came in before that one!
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Employee #1: Where the hell were you?
Employee #2: In the bathroom.
Employee #1: For twenty minutes? God, I thought you were sleeping with the feces.
320 17 Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Coworker: I think heaven will be like one big open bar.
Jenkintown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Even in context it was awesome
Young male employee to friend: I mean there’s no strippers in cages or anything, but it looks like it could turn into that kind of place, you know?
Avenue of the Americas
New York City, New York
Woman walking by to someone across the room: And I will never confuse you for my common-law spouse.
Toronto
Canadia
Employee #1: Oh my god, oh my god!
Employee #2: It’s sad…
Employee #1: Did it scream?
Employee #2: When you pet it?
Dedham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Genza
Office worker on phone: Sharice* is the ultimate fly girl. Except for getting arrested in Miami.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Class Warrior
Cubicle #1: Since I have to travel through Virginia next week, I’m going to take Amy*‘s suggestion and get a mega millions ticket. The powerball isn’t working out so well for me.
Cubicle #2: My husband laughs at me because I want to keep working if I win the lottery.
Cubicle #3: What!?
Cubicle #2: Yeah, I want to keep working.
Cubicle #3: Well…
Cubicle #1 & #3, in unison: I wouldn’t work here.
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Postal employee: I’m about ready to eat the butthole of a cow.
Post Office
Michigan
Tech guy: Did you hear about all the snow in New York?
Help desk chick: Yeah, wow! That means it’ll be heading here to California.
Tech guy: (silence).
Imperial Highway Brea
California
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
