Male staff member: Yeah, but knowing my luck, it'll happen again when I'm not here!
Female staff member: It's okay. You're married now. You'll get lucky one day!
Blockbuster
Australia
Archive for the ‘Employees’ Category
Just Try Not to Make Convulsive Gulping Noises
Boss: I don't want to drink by myself.
Employee: You won't be. You'll be on a conference call.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Mark W.
In Unrelated News, Can I Have Tomorrow Off?
Blonde coworker: But that's the problem with this country, people are lazy now, never put any thought or effort into anything. They're sloppy. Like, some guy passed a bank teller a “this is a holdup” note on the back of his damn pay stub from his job. I can't respect that kind of stupidity.
Manager: You know what? You would be a really good criminal. I mean that as a compliment.
Blonde coworker: I know, right? It's almost scary. I'd never get caught.
Chelmsford, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Not sure I want to sit by her anymore
Your Editors Have Learned That This Totally Works
Older janitor to young engineer, about picking up girls: You have to trap'em like Daniel Boone style, set out some salad with ranch dressin' or somethin' like that”.
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: Rick
I've Decided to Embrace the Squalor in Which I Labor
Cube rat: Yeah, I feel like honey mustard curtains today!
Baltimore, Maryland
I've Gotten This-Close to Talking to Other People!
Marketer (to herself): You're not in my head today. What's wrong?
Camden Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
…But That's Blood.
Employee #1: You rearranged the drawer.
Employee #2: I did not.
Employee #1: Well, there's an awful lot of ketchup in here.
Employee #2: I like ketchup.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Emily
Squatters’ Rights, Dude
Employee #1: Do you go in the bathroom like that?
Barefoot employee: Yeah, but I sit down. It’s much cleaner in there.
Employee #2: Wait, did you just admit that you sit down to pee?
1 Microsoft Way
Redmond, Washington
Like Lady Godiva
Peon: When she gets drunk, she gets up on her high Christian horse.
Mississauga
Ontario
Canadia
How You Know Your Coworker Is Straight
Employee: Did you see the Accounting Department? They are all dressed up like the Village People… or the Seven Dwarfs — I’m not sure.
100 Mountain Road
Framingham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Snow Whitefish