Archive for the ‘Dumb Employees’ Category

‘Fuck You’ Was More of a Request Than an Expletive

Manager: Can you gather up the other guys? We have to move a bunch of stuff.
Employee: Fuck you.
Manager: What did you just say to me?
Employee: Fuck you, asshole.
Manager: Are you nuts?
Employee: Fuck you, bitch.
Manager: You’re fired. Get out of here.
Employee: I wasn’t clocked in. You can’t fire me.
Manager walks to computer, clocks him in, says, ‘You’re fired,’ and then clocks him out.
Employee: That’s so unfair.

Circle Centre Mall

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Unique (adj.): Unlike Anyone or Anything Else

Sales guy: We’re going to go around the room and name unique things about [the company]. If you can’t think of one when it’s your turn, you have to sit down. The last person standing wins a gift card to Starbucks.
Drone #1: Trustworthy.
Drone #2: Resilient.
Drone #3: Global services.
Drone #4: Inspiring.
Drone #5: Focused.
Drone #6: Capabilities.
Drone #7: Multicultural.
Drone #8: People care.
Drone #9: Adaptability.
Drone #1: Secure.
Drone #2: Employer of choice.
Drone #3: Financial viability.
Drone #4: Responsive.
Drone #5: Integrity.
Drone #6: Straightforward.
Drone #7: Ambitious.
Drone #8: Expertise.
Drone #9: Innovative.
Drone #1: Reliable.
etc…

350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY