Archive for the ‘Dumb Employees’ Category

“Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Punch-out,” by Joe the Cashier

Cashier: My nephew started swearing up a storm at me, and I almost punched him. Then he started saying, ‘Uno, dos, tres,’ and I realized it was Spanish he learned from Dora. Damn, I almost punched him, because I didn’t know what he was sayin’. I also hate those kids that used to run into the store when they saw those Barney footprints by the door… I used to want to punch them, too.

205 East Lincoln Way
Ames, Iowa

Overheard by: Not a Kid Fan, but not a Kid Puncher, either

… Where I Went to School

Man hanging up phone: Wow, that guy had a neat accent. He said he was from the United Kingdom.
Woman: United Kingdom? That’s in Florida, right?
Man: No, I think that’s the Magic Kingdom…
Woman: Oh, you’re right! United Kingdom is in Kentucky.

Spartanburg, South Carolina

Overheard by: Service Dispatcher

Also Cleans Up Easier Than Motor Oil

Hairdresser: Oh, by the way, thanks for the tip about the Astroglide — it’s awesome! Client: Oh, you finally got some? And you love it?!
Hairdresser: Love it? I had to tell Paul* I saw an ad in Cosmo, or he’d know I was talking about our sex life at work.
Client: So, it’s cool, right? And doesn’t dry up, right?
Hairdresser: Listen, it makes him forget he’s a New York police officer — totally awesome!

Hillsdale, New Jersey

Overheard by: Receptionist