Archive for the ‘Dumb Customers’ Category

You Can Pool Your Ignorance, but It Never Turns Into Milk

Male: No, I'm sure it said “buffalo mozzarella.”
Female #1: Well, I know mozzarella is made from cow's milk.
Male: Maybe it's from Buffalo, NY.
Female #1: Is that where mozzarella is from?
Male: Maybe.
Female #2: Is goat cheese made from goats?
Waitress: No, usually from the milk.

Seattle, Washington

As All Brooklyn Welfare Mothers Know, Nails Are More Important than Parenting

Ghetto woman: I’m only here because I got a gift certificate. I hate Manhattan. I never come here. I can’t stand it. Everyone is just so rude. All the time. So rude. I would never be able to keep my mouth shut to some of these people.
Nail technician: Where do you work?
Ghetto woman: Over here, at sixth and 23rd. I hate it though. That’s why I live out in the county.
Nail technician: Oh! Where do you live?
Ghetto woman: Brooklyn. Tommy! Sit still in that chair for godsakes!!

14th St & 6th Ave
New York City

Overheard by: seriously?

Dude, You’re Not Getting That Dell!

Customer: Yeah, like I need to get this purchase authorized for school supplies and stuff.
CSR: Yes, sir. Can you tell me the primary cardholder’s name?
Customer: Yeah, that would be me. My name is on the card.
CSR: No sir, you are on the account. I need the primary cardholder; is he available?
Customer: No, he is in Florida or Georgia or something. Dude call my Dad, he can tell you all about it.
CSR: I need to ask you some security questions first. Do you know the primary cardholder’s date of birth?
Customer: Uh, dude, this really sucks…I can’t remember his birthday…Dude that’s pretty sad I don’t even know my father’s birthday.
CSR: OK, sir can you give me the last 4 digits of the social security number on the account for the primary cardholder.
Customer: Dude, are you kidding? I will tell you anything about me that you want to know I just want to get this stuff going, y’know?
CSR: Sir, can you hold?
Customer: Sure.

2 minutes pass.

CSR: OK sir, I have blocked the card. Please inform your father that he will need to give us a call to take the block off the card.
Customer. Dude, this fucking sucks. I have any information you need about me, why can’t you call my dad?
CSR: I am not calling your dad sir, please inform him that he will need to give us a call to have the block taken off the card.
Customer: Dude you are really starting to piss me off, dude.
CSR: Sir you can’t verify any of the security questions, and I can’t approve this transaction.
Customer: …Dude call my dad! He will give you anything you want to know.
CSR: I am not calling your dad, sir.
Customer: Dude, you have so just lost 4 accounts!

3615 Brotherton Road
Cincinnati, Ohio