Archive for the ‘Dumb Bosses’ Category

First Break the Employee’s Legs, Then Criticize the Way He Walks

GM: How were you days off?
Supervisor: Pretty good. Did some hiking.
GM: How was the conference?
Supervisor: What conference?
GM: I e-mailed you Wednesday about the loss prevention meeting on Thursday morning. I know it was short notice.
Supervisor: Thursday was my day off. Wednesday was my day off. I wasn’t here to check my e-mails.
GM: So you didn’t go to the mandatory meeting?
Supervisor: Um.
GM: You have to check your e-mail every day. No excuses.
Supervisor: I wasn’t here to check my e-mail.
GM: No excuses.

687 12th Street
Gresham, Oregon

Overheard by: I love 50 e-mails a day

4PM Order Crystal Ball

Department Head: I need everyone to let me know a day ahead if they want to use the car and that means whether or not you’ll be late because of traffic.
Worker: But how will we know we are stuck in traffic until we are actually stuck?
Department Head: That’s why I need to know a day ahead of time whether you’ll be late because of traffic.

626 Coronado Terrace
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: james Landry

I-W-I-S-H-I-C-O-U-L-D-F-I-R-E-Y-O-U

Boss: Hey, how do you spell ‘Japanese’? [Peon spells it.] Hmmm, do you think she was Japanese? How do you spell ‘Chinese’? [Peon spells it.] I don’t know if she was Chinese, though… Here’s what we’ll do — [begins typing letter] ‘The child speaks Asian…’ Wait, how do you spell ‘Asian’?

1000 West Central Road
Mount Prospect, Illinois

Overheard by: I work here?

I Want to Know Why I Called You

Manager: Excuse me, sir, do you have me on speakerphone?
Guy: No, you have me on speakerphone!
Manager: Oh, look at that. Sorry, this is a bad connection — are you on a cell phone?
Guy: Yes, you called my cell phone.
Manager: Oh, right. Do you have a desk phone I can call?
Guy: No, you called my cell because I am not in the office. Now, what do you want?!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Is He Serious?