Employee on phone: What did you say? I'm not going to drink the blood of a cow!
New York City, New York
Archive for the ‘Drinking’ Category
I Suggest You Switch to Diet Pepsi
Office Mormon to guy drinking beer at dinner: Dude, you're so drunk.
Drinker: I don't tell you what it's like to be Mormon, so you don't tell me what it's like to be drunk.
Honolulu, Hawaii
…Who Says I'm Not Management Material?
Cubicle dweller to another: We should have carpooled in together today so that you could drive me home drunk.
Dallas, Texas
It's a Lucky Drunk Who Has Not Just an Enabler, but a Cheerleader
Tourist woman: You know, honey, you should drink more. We're at a high elevation. You don't drink enough.
Visibly drunk tourist man: What are you talking about? I drink all the time! I drink a ton. I was just drinking… It's just not water.
Old Faithful Village
Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming
Overheard by: a ranger who is wondering why she works here
Just Be Discreet: Here's a Straw
Phone monkey to supervisor getting beer out of bag: So, can I drink this at my desk or do I have to go outside?
Government Call Centre
Canberra
Australia
…Who Can Multitask Like That??
Boss, on phone: What do you expect them to do? (pause) Drink and have sex?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: joe marks
When You Gave Me That Lap Dance, for Instance
Female coworker: I was still drunk when I came to the office this morning.
Male coworker: I thought you seemed happier.
Boston, Massachusetts
Why the Company Abandoned “Everclear Thursdays”
Boss: Have you seen Tina today?
Loudmouth: Yeah, at 1 am, passed out in the shrubbery!
DeKalb, Illinois
Overheard by: also hungover
For Some Reason, Happy Hour Always Ends in Tears
Writer: Why do you still have clothes on?
Editor: I'm not drunk enough yet.
Writer: Keep drinking!
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Is that legal?
I'm Bringing You Warm Water from the Colorado River
Waitress to customer: Can I get you something to drink?
Customer: We've never been to Moab before, so we don't know what we want to drink.
Restaurant
Moab, Utah