Not Like When We Swam with the Sharks

Sub-editor: Hi, Ed*!
Designer: Hi, Jack*! I’ll try not to cut myself when you’re talking to me this time.

Australia

Lifting, Puking, and Shooting: The Lloyd Roid Story

Designer: I can’t find a photo to represent personal trainers. The only stock images we have are too creepy. Look kind of like an after-school special.
Writer: Like a molesting-kids after-school special? Or the kind about bulimia?
Designer: A cross between those and the ones about steroids.
Creative director: Oh. That sounds OK. Use whatever you guys have.

16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona

And Maybe You Could Spruce It Up a Bit?

Art director to photographer: So, how big is your rack?
(rest of table bursts out laughing)
Art director: Okay! I guess we're all 13 here!
Photographer: You gotta admit, that was good.
Art director: Yeah, it was good.
(at the end of photo shoot meeting)
Art director: Don't forget to bring your rack on Friday!

Van Nuys, California

None of Your Trendy Rat Milk for Me

Designer: I just don’t trust anything that doesn’t come out of a cow!

Newspaper
Melbourne
Australia

11AM Design Session

Designer: We can’t afford naked people. All of those photos are rights managed. So tomorrow I’m bringing in my digital camera.

2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington

Still, I’d Prefer to Vote Democratic

Designer: It wouldn’t have to be like kissing your mom or anything. It could be like chopping your finger off.

860 Broadway
New York, New York

Overheard by: Confabulation Nation

Me Neither. Isn’t Advertising Cool?

Art director: Don’t you have to be educated to do your job?
IT guy: Nope.

11 E 26th Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: Jeremy

… I’ll Bring Booze and the Necessary Plug-Ins

Female designer: If you show up, you can watch me use your hard drive.
IT guy: Ummm…

44 Canal Center Plaza
Alexandria, Virginia

3PM Coffee Break

Copywriter: Were you looking for me?
Designer: Sorry?
Copywriter: Before, when I was in that meeting…it looked like you were looking for me.
Designer: Ah…Where I walked over, sighed, and declared “Tragedy”; I was actually looking for the coffee. The window to your meeting room just happened to be behind the machine. You guys have better coffee than our side.

12655 Beatrice Street
Los Angeles, California

First They Came for the Trans-Fats and I Didn’t Speak up

Writer: ‘Portly’ sounds cute. Sounds like a nice, bald, fat man in a three-piece suit.
Designer: ‘Portly’ sounds like someone with grease stains on their shirt from dropping a piece of chicken.
Writer: That’s not ‘portly!’ That’s obese!
Designer: What’s the difference?
Writer: Obese is like those Subway ads before Jared lost his weight. When he was all wild-eyed and savage. Clothes all stretched out, nothing laundered, brimming with Big Macs and Crisco sandwhiches.
Designer: They should outlaw Crisco. Just straight out make it a crime.
Writer: Yeah.