Female designer: If you show up, you can watch me use your hard drive.
IT guy: Ummm…
44 Canal Center Plaza
Alexandria, Virginia
Archive for the ‘Designers and Photographers’ Category
3PM Coffee Break
Copywriter: Were you looking for me?
Designer: Sorry?
Copywriter: Before, when I was in that meeting…it looked like you were looking for me.
Designer: Ah…Where I walked over, sighed, and declared “Tragedy”; I was actually looking for the coffee. The window to your meeting room just happened to be behind the machine. You guys have better coffee than our side.
12655 Beatrice Street
Los Angeles, California
First They Came for the Trans-Fats and I Didn’t Speak up
Writer: ‘Portly’ sounds cute. Sounds like a nice, bald, fat man in a three-piece suit.
Designer: ‘Portly’ sounds like someone with grease stains on their shirt from dropping a piece of chicken.
Writer: That’s not ‘portly!’ That’s obese!
Designer: What’s the difference?
Writer: Obese is like those Subway ads before Jared lost his weight. When he was all wild-eyed and savage. Clothes all stretched out, nothing laundered, brimming with Big Macs and Crisco sandwhiches.
Designer: They should outlaw Crisco. Just straight out make it a crime.
Writer: Yeah.
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
So Drive Around That Girl Scout Troop
Photographer: Well, you don't want to get blood all over your car…
Newspaper
Delaware
11AM Meet the New Girl
Office Manager: …who knows, maybe Crystal is a very nice person.
Design Assistant: But I hate people named after rocks.
228 Gerrard Street East
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: J.B.
Specifically the Ones Who Are Plastic Surgeons
Copywriter (after watching a 1980s video on YouTube): YouTube is my fountain of youth.
Graphic designer: Young boys are mine.
Sex Toy Factory
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Looks like Diva
As We've All Learned from Survivor
Designer, during meeting: You can get a lot done in a threesome if you have an alliance.
Ad Agency
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: worried coworker
Tonight on SportsChat: Wankers Talk Wanking
Designer: Gosh, I just hate when you’re watching a porn and they cut to the guy’s face. It’s always such an unfortunate time. I should write a letter of complaint.
IT guy: Yeah, if you only had a free hand.
Leverington Avenue
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: JB
Well, Pardon Me While I Prestidigitate Your Complementary Anaphylaxis
Account manager: You did a fantastic job on these business cards!
Art director: Shut up! Don’t condense me.
Account manager: I’m serious! You’re a curiative genius!
214 West 39th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Trey Givens
It Was the Best Of Tasks, It Was the Worst Of Tasks
Director, miming painting a wall: This is painting. It's kind of like bitch-slapping.
Adult Film Company
New York
Overheard by: fetishgirl