Befuddled coworker to supervisor: The good news is I developed a system so that I wouldn’t lose any more SIM cards. The bad news is I lost one.
Independence Parkway
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: Jet Jaguar
Befuddled coworker to supervisor: The good news is I developed a system so that I wouldn’t lose any more SIM cards. The bad news is I lost one.
Independence Parkway
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: Jet Jaguar
Purchasing manager: Can I borrow a pencil?
Receptionist: No. If you don’t come prepared, I ain’t helping you.
Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Nikki
CSR: Okay, and what’s the address?
Customer: 123* A Street.
CSR: Okay, and which street is that on?
Customer: A Street.
CSR: I understand that you live on a street, sir, but I need to know which one.
1001 Roeder Avenue
Bellingham, Washington
Boss: Jamie Lynn Spears?
Worker: No! Jamie Lynn DiScala. Meadow from The Sopranos.
Boss: Omg, I saw her when I was getting pregnant!
Park Ave
New York City, New York
Operations manager: What are some of your goals?
New hire: I want to have babies!
Operations manager: Ok… Do you have any goals in regards to your future with our company?
New hire: Sure, I want to do my job right, but I was really just born to have babies.
Dallas Parkway
Dallas
Overheard by: Addy
Office chick #1: Hey, I like your shoes. Are they new?
Office chick #2: Thanks. I’ve had them for a while. I just haven’t been wearing them.
Office chick #1: They’re kind of low cut.
Office dude: Yeah, I can see a lot of arch. If this was the middle east, I’d totally be raping you right now.
Rancho Cordova, California
Overheard by: Good thing we’re in Cali.
Serious nurse: …but, I’d be lying if I said bloodlust didn’t have a lot to do with it.
Hospital
Manchester, Tennessee
Overheard by: Mouse
Attorney: Wait until I get into my fecal matter/colon thing.
New York City, New York
Manager: You going to an interview or something?
Sales dude: Yeah. Like my tie?
Manager: It looks like whipped cream on a turd. Good luck.
1 Thomas Drive
Westbrook, Maine
Female coworker, threatening another female coworker: Well, if I get a fucking yeast infection, you’re going to be the first to hear about it!
6th & Maple
Spokane, Washington
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist