Receptionist over the intercom: Obituaries…Mmmmmmm….
16 Bailey Avenue
Ridgefield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Nikki
Archive for the ‘Death’ Category
Indiana's Right-to-Life Law Doesn't Extend to Adults
Boss: Carl! It's a good thing you aren't a dog or I'd have put you down by now!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: BFScollegegirl
5PM That’s a Wrap
Funeral director: So, you know all the procedures now, right?
Secretary: Yes, I believe so, I just never had to go get the organ out for a service.
Funeral director: Well, you know where it’s at, right?
Secretary: Yeah, so you just go in the back and pull it out and stick it in there, right?
2157 Oak Street
Wyandotte, Michigan
I’d Fix It Myself, but I’m Heading Out Soon
Young drone: Do you realize that everything you print has the heading ‘Dead’ on it?
Old drone: I wish they’d change that.
441 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York
And Request to Be Buried with the Paper
Admin, looking up from newspaper and greeting guest: Hello, Mr Blue. Please have a seat, director Green will be right with you.
Mr Blue: You know, if you were my employee and you were reading the paper at your desk, I would fire you.
Admin: If I were your employee, I would kill myself.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Civil Servant
The Loincloth and Spear Were Also a Tip-Off
Associate attorney to boss: Hey! You're smiling! You must've killed a client!
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: The Receptionist Hears the Darndest Things
And Once You're Fired, You Can't Fire Back
Boss to intern: If I have to shoot you, I'm gonna shoot you.
Manhattan, New York
The “Dog Ate My Homework” Of the Eastern World
Manager handing name tag to an employee: These are the old name tags. We ordered new ones, but the courier who was delivering them fell off the train and died.
Ramat Gan
Israel
Overheard by: ayala
Crazy Coworkers, Represent!
Crazy coworker: I like to think that when we die, we don't go to heaven but we go to our favorite decade.
Government Office
Washington, DC
Stingy and Belligerent, Eh? Why Not Put on Your Kilt While You’re at It
Worker: *Liam was great, I didn’t want any fucking sympathy and he just got on it with it. I hated my fucking father anyway.
Co-worker: Good.
Worker: I mean I only went to his fucking funeral to make sure the cunt was dead… And to spit on his grave. You know? But *Alan got two and a half days for his fucking mother in law.
Co-worker: Yeah?
Worker: Yeah. I mean I hated the bastard but I still get my three days right?
Co-worker: Right.
DWP
Bathgate
Scotland