Coworker #1, as coworker #2 comes in late: Oh, hi! I thought you were in a ditch or something.
Coworker #2: Ooh, I wish!
5th Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Devil Spanker
Coworker #1, as coworker #2 comes in late: Oh, hi! I thought you were in a ditch or something.
Coworker #2: Ooh, I wish!
5th Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Devil Spanker
Editor: I don’t think the parallel between origami and dead chicken is made well enough.
Austin, Texas
Chubby secretary: So, my friend from college was roommates with this guy who went to high school with this girl whose brother was eaten by Jeffrey Dahmer!
Friend: Oh my god! You could have been killed!
Tampa, Florida
Male worker: She’s off, her mother just died.
Female worker: Yeah, her hair looked great today.
Deli
New Jersey
Overheard by: waiting in line
Minister: At least I know where I’m going when I die… Heaven.
Drunk worker: Yeah, I’m going there too.
Minister: You gotta change first.
Drunk worker: I know, I just did…
Jacksonville, Florida
Overheard by: Derrick McClure
Boss: I wouldn’t even be able to kill myself right today. I’d screw it up.
Employee: If it makes you feel better I knocked myself unconscious this weekend.
Boss: Yeah, actually, it does.
323 East Grand River
Howell, Michigan
Overheard by: Pam Beasley
Admin: Hey, Simon Wiesenthal died! Who’s he?
Suit: Oh, he hunted Nazis or something. Cool!
Admin: Cool that he died?
Suit: Cool that he’s in my dead pool!
1600 Broadway
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: C. O’ntracter
Boss: Sometimes I wish all our clients would just die.
Brisbane
Australia
Intern: I’ve found the body bags!
Greenville, South Carolina
Loud cubicle neighbor: And that’s why both my ex-husbands are dead!
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist