Art director: Is it wrong that I saw something on the news about a triple homicide in Koreatown, now I’m craving Chinese food?
Los Angeles, California
Archive for the ‘Death’ Category
11AM Go Over Resumes
Manager: “…I was forced to take a year off work to look after my sick mother. She’s dead now so problem over.”
33 Paradise Road
Richmond, Surrey
UK
Pretty Much His Deal With God, Too
Boss: I’m pretty much unavailable all afternoon since I have to go to the funeral, but if you really need me, you can call me between the church and the cemetary.
Boston, Massachusetts
11AM EOY Staff Meeting
Manager: We’re all sharks. Remember, guys.
Employee: Huh? Sharks?
Manager: Yeah, we’re all like sharks. Sharks have to keep moving their whole life or they’ll die. They never stop moving. So keep moving, guys! We’re sharks!
Employee: So basically what you’re saying is that if we stop moving, you’ll kill us all?
208 Chain Lake Drive
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
I Already Have Dibs on His Stapler
Peon to boss looking for the bigger boss: He is not there. He is murdering Mike*.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: has a will
That's So Profound, Tiffany.
Long Island secretary #1: She's old.
Long Island secretary #2: Some people just live too long.
Long Island secretary #1: She'll die soon.
Long Island secretary #2: She'll die when I kill her.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: stayingonmysideoftheoffice
1PM Lunch
Co-worker: Every time I board an airplane nowadays, I look around and figure out who I’m going to eat if we crash.
115 Perimeter Center Place NE
Atlanta, Georgia
11AM Update Data
Co-worker: He’s either “dead” or “passed away.”
9111 East Douglas Avenue
Wichita, Kansas
Overheard by: Nate
Is He the Same One Whose Stomach Exploded from Pop Rocks and Soda?
Chubby secretary: So, my friend from college was roommates with this guy who went to high school with this girl whose brother was eaten by Jeffrey Dahmer!
Friend: Oh my god! You could have been killed!
Tampa, Florida
So Drive Around That Girl Scout Troop
Photographer: Well, you don't want to get blood all over your car…
Newspaper
Delaware