Peon to boss looking for the bigger boss: He is not there. He is murdering Mike*.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: has a will
Archive for the ‘Death’ Category
That's So Profound, Tiffany.
Long Island secretary #1: She's old.
Long Island secretary #2: Some people just live too long.
Long Island secretary #1: She'll die soon.
Long Island secretary #2: She'll die when I kill her.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: stayingonmysideoftheoffice
1PM Lunch
Co-worker: Every time I board an airplane nowadays, I look around and figure out who I’m going to eat if we crash.
115 Perimeter Center Place NE
Atlanta, Georgia
11AM Update Data
Co-worker: He’s either “dead” or “passed away.”
9111 East Douglas Avenue
Wichita, Kansas
Overheard by: Nate
Is He the Same One Whose Stomach Exploded from Pop Rocks and Soda?
Chubby secretary: So, my friend from college was roommates with this guy who went to high school with this girl whose brother was eaten by Jeffrey Dahmer!
Friend: Oh my god! You could have been killed!
Tampa, Florida
So Drive Around That Girl Scout Troop
Photographer: Well, you don't want to get blood all over your car…
Newspaper
Delaware
And Now the Nightly News With Poet William Wordsworth
Sales drone: I thought nature was dead?
London
England
Overheard by: Bemused Techie
Is That, Like, a Sex Euphemism?
Coworker to another: How was your weekend?
Another: Not good, we lost another pet. The rabbit was murdered by a sheep.
New Zealand
Overheard by: George
You Say They Have Computers That Do That Now? Here, I’ll Give You a Push
Male employee: Oh, I’m sorry. I could’ve scared you and you could’ve fallen.
Female employee sitting in an open, screenless window: That’s okay, you didn’t scare me.
Male employee: You look like you’re going to jump. Please don’t jump out the window. We really need someone to answer the phones.
98th Street and West End
New York, New York
Overheard by: adrienne
When Serial Killers Dream
Woman: Hopefully I'll have a few carcasses when I get home.
Norwich
England
Overheard by: Nat