Archive for the ‘Death’ Category

This Would've Been a Good Seinfeld Episode

Cubicle guy: Man, you wanna hear something funny? My dry cleaner got shot today. What am I gonna do? I got dry cleaning to pick up!
Cubicle gal: What? Oh my god! That's horrible!
Cubicle guy: I know. But what am I gonna do about my dry cleaning? I can't just go over there and say like, “hey, sorry he got shot, but can I get my dry cleaning?”
Cubicle gal: Yeah–that wouldn't be good. Maybe you could wait a couple of days and then go pick it up. Besides, if you go today you might become a suspect.
Cubicle guy: Yeah, that's what I'll do… Good thing it's not a suit I need for the weekend.

Manhattan, New York

How to Tell If Your Co-Worker Is Actually a Robot

Male exec: I won’t be able to be at the pitch. My grandfather died.
Female exec: Oh my God, I’m so sorry.
Male exec: It’s okay, I still have my other grandfather.
Female exec: That’s why you have two children, right? If one of them dies, you’ve still got the other one, so it’s not so sad.

Dreamworks, 100 Universal Plaza
Universal City, California

Overheard by: Shrek

5PM That’s a Wrap

Secretary: I’ve been meaning to ask you a question.
Lawyer: Sure, what’s up?
Secretary: So you’re Indian, right? I’m going to an Indian funeral today. And I’m not sure how to act.
Lawyer: Well…you’re not supposed to laugh.
Secretary: But they’re so Indian that they’re going to have her cremated.
Lawyer: That doesn’t mean you can laugh. Also wear all white.

1425 K Street NW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: callmeahab