Archive for the ‘Death’ Category

5PM That’s a Wrap

Funeral director: So, you know all the procedures now, right?
Secretary: Yes, I believe so, I just never had to go get the organ out for a service.
Funeral director: Well, you know where it’s at, right?
Secretary: Yeah, so you just go in the back and pull it out and stick it in there, right?

2157 Oak Street
Wyandotte, Michigan

And Request to Be Buried with the Paper

Admin, looking up from newspaper and greeting guest: Hello, Mr Blue. Please have a seat, director Green will be right with you.
Mr Blue: You know, if you were my employee and you were reading the paper at your desk, I would fire you.
Admin: If I were your employee, I would kill myself.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Civil Servant

Stingy and Belligerent, Eh? Why Not Put on Your Kilt While You’re at It

Worker: *Liam was great, I didn’t want any fucking sympathy and he just got on it with it. I hated my fucking father anyway.
Co-worker: Good.
Worker: I mean I only went to his fucking funeral to make sure the cunt was dead… And to spit on his grave. You know? But *Alan got two and a half days for his fucking mother in law.
Co-worker: Yeah?
Worker: Yeah. I mean I hated the bastard but I still get my three days right?
Co-worker: Right.

DWP
Bathgate
Scotland