Recruiter for aid programs in Afghanistan: I talked with one Mark Johnson* — an 82-year-old WWII vet. He doesn’t hear well, but would love to see some combat. I told him that I would see what we could arrange.
Manager: Ummm…
Recruiter: Dude, sarcasm?
7250 Woodmont Avenue
Bethesda, Maryland
Coworker: If you’re gonna do it, do it hard so I can’t breathe.
113 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland
Exec #1: Should we offer 5gb or 25gb packages?
Exec #2: I am in favor of larger packages…
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Slomojamma
New hire: Can’t we maybe be more optimistic about the sales projections?
Boss: Optimism? Optimism? Optimism is just lack of information.
Washington, DC
Congressional staffer in hallway, in low voice: I gotta be careful who’s around… It might be dangerous to be overheard.
House of Representatives Office Building
Washington, DC
Weird guy: Hey, has anyone ever been tased?
Government Office
Washington, DC
Crazy coworker: I like to think that when we die, we don’t go to heaven but we go to our favorite decade.
Government Office
Washington, DC
Male coworker: There’s nothing worse than feeling not-so-fresh when you have a doctor between your legs.
Female coworker just walking into the conversation: Huh?
200 Constitution Avenue
Washington, DC
Loud cube drone: It happened again!
Friend: What?
Loud cube drone: I couldn’t sleep!
Friend: Oh no, what did you do?
Loud cube drone: Well, I didn’t do anything this time. Usually I would just take one of those sleeping pills, like Zoloft, the ones I usually take…
Washington, DC
Female employee: Can I stick my hand in there without getting HIV?
Male employee: Yeah, but you might pull out a carrot or two.
Department of Homeland Security
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Cube around the corner
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist