Archive for the ‘Customers’ Category

A Lit­tle Some­thing Ex­tra on the Meat-Lover’s Piz­za, Ma’am

Em­ploy­ee #1: Yeah, it was a great porno. Yeah, she was all up on his taint. The taint. You know the part be­tween the meat and the hole? Yeah, that.
Em­ploy­ee #2, on the phone with cus­tomer: (cringe)
Cus­tomer on phone: Ex­cuse me…
Em­ploy­ee #2: Umm, yes ma’am?
Cus­tomer: Was that man talk­ing about balls?

Piz­za Place
Long Is­land, New York

2PM Client Meet­ing

Lawyer on phone: I don’t care what you want to do, just file the fuck­ing re­port! Shut the fuck up and file the fuck­ing thing!
Client: Yikes.
Sec­re­tary: He’s yelling at his oth­er sec­re­tary.
Client: …Yeah, but–
Lawyer: I said file the fuck­ing thing!
Sec­re­tary: It’s okay. She’s al­so his wife.

430 West First Street
New Al­bany, In­di­ana

Lat­te Sleep­ers. Duh.

Old Ger­man woman: Do you have any cof­fee grinders?
Star­bucks barista: No, we don’t sell them here.
Old Ger­man woman: Do you know where I could find one?
Star­bucks barista: Well, you could try an­oth­er Star­bucks, or Bed Bath & Be­yond.
Old Ger­man woman: How il­log­i­cal! Who would want to grind cof­fee in bed?!

Long Is­land, New York

Over­heard by: it be be­yond