Archive for the ‘Customers’ Category

Be­cause I Have a Stab­bing Pain in My Ear

Woman on phone to ca­ble com­pa­ny: Okay. Hey, hold on a sec. (yells in­to the phone) Don’t go meet him, he’s gonna stab you! I know he stabbed your broth­er, that’s why I think he’s gonna stab you too! (pause) Fine! if you want to get stabbed don’t come cry­ing to me. Just make sure you bring your phone so you can call 911, okay? Sor­ry about that…now what do I do next?
Call cen­ter rep: Uhh, I think I need to re­port this call.
Woman: Why?

Time Warn­er Call Cen­ter
Al­bany, New York

Over­heard by: Dani

I’d Like to Buy a New Pol­i­cy, and Then Can­cel It

Cus­tomer: Why did my pol­i­cy can­cel?
Sec­re­tary: For non-pay­ment, sir.
Cus­tomer: But I nev­er got a bill.
Sec­re­tary: You mean, the one you hand­ed me when you walked in with a due date of Jan­u­ary 30th*?
Cus­tomer: Yes, that bill.
Sec­re­tary: It would­n’t have can­celed if you had paid this bill, sir.
Cus­tomer: Well, I’m not go­ing to re­new that pol­i­cy, then…
Sec­re­tary: There is noth­ing to re­new, sir — it can­celed for non-pay­ment!

977 Yad­kinville Road
Mocksville, North Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: Karen

…Just Ask Our Pres­i­dent.

Caller: I am call­ing about a claim that was de­nied last week.
In­sur­ance cus­tomer ser­vice: Which claim is that, ma’am?
Caller: The one from my doc­tor’s vis­it while we were in Hawaii.
In­sur­ance cus­tomer ser­vice: Well, ma’am, your pol­i­cy does­n’t cov­er in­ter­na­tion­al med­ical claims–so your doc­tor’s vis­it in Hawaii would­n’t be cov­ered.

Den­ver, Col­orado