Archive for the ‘Customer Support’ Category

Would­n’t Stop Dri­ving My Hot Rod Lin­coln

Woman: I’d like to pay my cell phone bill, but it’s in my son’s name and I don’t have the pass­word to see it on­line. So, I need to know how much it is.
Em­ploy­ee: You can’t pay it with­out his au­tho­riza­tion. I can’t tell you how much it is.
Woman: He can’t au­tho­rize any­thing, he’s in­car­cer­at­ed.
Em­ploy­ee: Well, we’ll need a copy of the obit­u­ary or the death cer­tifi­cate.
Woman: What? He’s in­car­cer­at­ed! [pause] He’s in jail.
Em­ploy­ee: Oh.

Fred­er­ick, Mary­land

We Apol­o­gize for Both­er­ing You by Phone, But We’ve Al­ready Put a Sym­bol in the Sky to No Avail

CSR: Hel­lo Mrs. Bat­man? This is Robin call­ing from your hear­ing aid com­pa­ny about your re­cent hear­ing aid pur­chase. (pause) No, I’m not kid­ding. My name re­al­ly is Robin and I’m call­ing about your hear­ing aid.

DeKalb, Illi­nois

Over­heard by: Rich

Wait, Did I Say That Out Loud?

Cus­tomer: Here’s my or­der num­ber.
CSR: Yes, how can I help you?
Cus­tomer: What can you tell me about my or­der?
CSR: Um. What would you like to know?
Cus­tomer: You tell me. What does your com­put­er tell you?
CSR: It tells me lots of things. What you or­dered, when you or­dered it. How can I help you?
Cus­tomer: Tell me every­thing your screen tells you about my or­der.
CSR: What would you like to know?
Cus­tomer: No, I want to know what you know about my or­der.
CSR: Well, I can tell you when it shipped, when it was de­liv­ered. Would those help?
Cus­tomer: No. What else?
CSR: Well, it would take me a re­al­ly long time to read you every­thing I have here.
Cus­tomer: Oh. Well, let me ex­plain. [Gives explanation]CSR: I see. So you just want UPS to pick up this or­der?
Cus­tomer: Are you an id­iot? That’s what I’ve been say­ing the whole time!

473 Ridge Road
Day­ton, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: of­fice pe­on can’t wait for the week­end