Vietnamese coworker using cardboard to fix cubicle, happily: It's like being in refugee camp all over again. Austin, Texas
Loud girl: Aw shit, I'ma cock-block boo. She gon' get your ass.
Quiet guy in next cubicle, to himself: I am so confused by what goes on in this office sometimes. South Ozone Park
Queens, New York Overheard by: Charlie
Co-worker: You know, it’s pretty hard to kiss your own ass…
1500 E. Medical Center Drive
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Cubicle worker #1, slamming something on desk: A big cockroach just crawled across my desk.
Cubicle worker #2: Yeah, these were the desks with the roach problem.
Cubicle worker #1: Roach problem?
Cubicle worker #2: It's all Mindy's fault. Arlington, Texas
Cube dweller #1: You've worked with giraffes?
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, transporting them is a real pain. They go in an open trailer, and every time you get to an overpass, you have to either let air out of all the tires to fit under it, or you have to stop, back them out of the trailer, walk them around the overpass, get them back in the trailer… It takes forever to get anywhere.
Cube dweller #1: Can't you just teach them to duck?
Cube dweller #2: (long pause) Not at those speeds. Pearl Street
Dallas, Texas Overheard by: Explains giraffe-shaped divots in overpasses
Coworker #1: See, this is my new man bag.
Coworker #2: Oh, nice! So manly.
Coworker #3: Man bag? Sounds like scrotum. 270 County Hospital Road
Tech guy: Did you hear about all the snow in New York?
Help desk chick: Yeah, wow! That means it’ll be heading here to California.
Tech guy: (silence). Imperial Highway Brea
Sales guy: Sooo, how do I get on our intranet again?
His assistant: We put this on your Favorites list, remember? We’ve done this before.
Sales guy: No.. no.. I’m not seeing it.
Assistant: Yes, the very first time I showed you how to log in, I had you add it to your Favorites first.
Sales guy: I don’t know, but I know I’m not seeing it.
Assistant: Hmm, I can’t remember if it was under a subfolder or not.
Sales guy: What are you talking about? Pause Assistant: Okay, let’s start from the beginning… Open up your Internet Explorer….
Sales guy: Okay… done…
Assistant: Now click on Favorites….
Sales guy: Oooh. Is it called [Company Inc]-home?
Assistant: Mmm hmm. That would be it.
Cubicle neighbor: Is this the same voice you use to explain things to your daughter? 8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Young office dude: Did you see that I called you, like 40 times?
Young office chick: Yeah, I saw that I had stalker calls and it made me feel really special. San Rafael, California
Boss: So just use a black highlighter to mark—
Assistant: Black highlighter?
Boss: I meant ‘Sharpie.’ Yes, don’t ever get the two mixed up. Herndon, Virginia