But That’s Re­al­ly More Like Young Adult Fic­tion

Cube dweller #1 (al­so a Pas­tor): I’ve al­ways want­ed to write a book and call it “Prat­falls in the Pul­pit”.
Cube dweller #2: “Crap Falls in your Pock­et?“
Cube dweller #1: Well, that’s ap­pro­pri­ate, too.

Madi­son, Wis­con­sin

Over­heard by: Tu­na

But If You Mean Hugh Hefn­er, I Agree.

Cu­bi­cle rat: He’s los­ing con­trol of his bow­els all over the place, his toe nails are long, he stinks and he’s get­ting old. I think I need to put him down.
Cu­bi­cle neigh­bor: I hope you are talk­ing about an an­i­mal.

Lans­ing, Michi­gan

You Had Us at “Smeg­ma Sand­wich”

Cu­bi­cle #1: That movie was com­plete donk.
Cu­bilce #2: You’re a snob. I thought it was fun, and I loved the Rox­anne Tan­go bit.
Cu­cible #1: Dude, that movie was a smeg­ma sand­wich and fuck any­one who says oth­er­wise.
Cu­bi­cle #3: Hear, hear.

Chica­go, Illi­nois

Over­heard by: still laugh­ing

Don’t Hate the Play­er, Hate the Desk

Girl: Can you keep this desk clean?
Guy: What? The desk is clean. Stop hat­ing!
Girl: Hey, hey, don’t say that, I’m not a cock-block­er. I don’t cock-block.
Guy: What the fuck does that have to do with my desk?

350 South Figueroa
Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Sex­u­al ten­sion in the work­place?

More Fall­out from the Gar­den Of Eden Fruit Scan­dal

Jenn: Oh my god, Anne, I can smell that from here!
(every­one in cu­bi­cles around Jenn and Anne look up at Anne)
Anne (look­ing hor­ri­fied): I’m peel­ing an or­ange! She’s smelling my or­ange!

Kent Street
Syd­ney, New South Wales
Aus­tralia

Let’s Rub Ours To­geth­er and See If We Can Play “Mary Had a Lit­tle Lamb”

Cu­bi­cle dweller: Oh. So your nip­ples are squeaky too?

Cot­tage Grove, Wis­con­sin

Some­times It’s Smarter to Say “I Don’t Know”

Cowork­er to cu­bi­cle mate: Hey, Ana, what’s an IP ad­dress?
Cu­bi­cle mate: It’s an iPhone.
Cowork­er: Oh, okay. Thanks!

Con­necti­cut

Over­heard by: Senor IP

Time to Con­sult the Or­a­cle?

Of­fice West Vir­gin­ian: I need more sam­ples! Does any­one know when Bill is mak­ing more sam­ples?!
Of­fice wise guy: Uh, Bill, maybe?
Of­fice West Vir­gin­ian: No, I al­ready asked him and he does­n’t know.

W. Mar­ket Street
Greens­boro, North Car­oli­na

I Don’t See Much Mar­ket for a Pants Cam, Though

Guy in cu­bi­cle on phone: Well, it feels like it’s about 3 or 4 inch­es up in there! No… No. Well, did you see the pic­tures? Be­cause you can to­tal­ly see it’s all the way up in there!

Oil Com­pa­ny
Tul­sa, Ok­la­homa

9AM Be­gin the Seething

Co-work­er on phone: How many limbs did he lose?…Ha, ha, ha!…That’s aw­ful.

30 South 17th Street
Philadel­phia, Penn­syl­va­nia