Contracts officer: Frankly, I think she’ll be tickled shitless…I could have said she’d be shittled titless, but I thought that would be offensive.
HR lady: This meeting has now offically gone on too long.
1010 North Glebe Road
Arlington, Virginia
Archive for the ‘Coworkers’ Category
He Bought It From This Little Old Lady Who Said She Had Trouble With Flooding
Female co-worker: My uncle just bought a condom in Brooklyn. It’s a real nice place.
Male co-worker: Really?
Female co-worker: Uh huh.
99 Church Street
New York, New York
Hey, In San Francisco, It’s a Capital Crime
Female office dolt: Oh my god! I need to put my sweater away before I get fined!
Water Street
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Cubicle Gnome
Has the Millionaire Matchmaker Gotten Too Full Of Herself? Discuss.
Coworker to another: You should let him go first, he has a bigger one to pull out.
Los Angeles, California
12PM Work on Database
Coder #1: I liked the fix you did on that bug.
Coder #2: When in doubt, just take away access from the user. It’s a fascist approach, but I swear by it.
Coder #1: Right…
141 West 28th Street
New York, NY
Gives a Mean Blowjob, Though
Coworker to another: My son got into GATE classes… He’s not even smart!
Orange County, California
…Whereas I’ve Been Looking For 20 Years.
Office man trying to help lady with machinery: Wait, you need to put it in the hole!
Frustrated lady: What do you mean? I never have had to look for any hole!
Office man: Well, I know that’s true.
Austin, Texas
It’s Never Easy to Arrange a Podiatryst
Female coworker #1, quietly: So have you had any success yet?
Female coworker #2, quietly: No, she won’t let me anywhere near her feet.
Female coworker #1: Okay. I’ll tell you what you’ve got to do. (whispers furtively)
Chili, New York
Overheard by: NewGirl
Um, Actually…
Office girl #1: Anyway, that’s how this giant hoo-hah got started in the first place.
(snickering comes from nearby cubicles)
Office girl #1: What? Did I use the wrong word?
Office girl #2: Well, that depends on what you’re talking about.
Boss man: I think you mean ‘hoopla,” but you basically just said “giant vagina.”
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: freudianflip
So You’re the One Who Put That in the Office Comment Box?
Guy in elevator: So I had to go buy new shoelaces over lunch.
Girl in elevator: It’s about time. You’ve been lacing them too tight for weeks. Makes me crazy.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: what
