Hispanic coworker to founder of company: Good afternoon!
Founder of company: Oh, hey! I didn’t see you. You blend in with the furniture.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Tiz
Archive for the ‘Coworkers’ Category
I’m Databasing. Are You Databasing?
Worker #1 referring to a computer file titled as her name: Are you in me?
Worker #2: Yeah, I’m in you.
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: a little small
Dear Diary– Told Charlotte How I Feel Today!
Office chick #1: Hey, I like your shoes. Are they new?
Office chick #2: Thanks. I’ve had them for a while. I just haven’t been wearing them.
Office chick #1: They’re kind of low cut.
Office dude: Yeah, I can see a lot of arch. If this was the middle east, I’d totally be raping you right now.
Rancho Cordova, California
Overheard by: Good thing we’re in Cali.
What if Your Kid’s Hungover?
Co-Worker #1: Kids are just a built in excuse to call in sick. If Carl* can call in because his kid is sick, I should be able to call in sick because I’m hungover.
Co-Worker #2: Wouldn’t that be every day then?
Co-Worker #1: No, I mean too hungover to work.
Highways 7 and 78
Independence, Missouri
Overheard by: steak of life
We Mean No Disrespect to Our Muslim Readers, If We Have Any
Gay coworker #1: The new guy is cute!
Gay coworker #2: I know, huh? Cuter than John or Ryan.
Gay coworker #1: Well, I think John is still number one on my list.
Gay coworker #2: This is why I love coming to work everyday.
Gay coworker #1: Yeaahh…me too! It’s like gay Mecca here!
San Francisco, California
When Employees Watch The Young and the Restless on Break
Coworker, on accepting payment: Sir, I can take it one of two ways, but I do need it badly today.
New Jersey
My Secret? I Keep Absinthe in My Side Drawer.
Girl coworker: I’ll e‑mail the help desk…I’ll just say “please help us, help desk.” Ahahah! I ‘m so funny.
Guy coworker: Okay, good idea. You’re typing all in caps.
Girl coworker: I know! That’s because everything is in capitals on my computer.
Guy coworker: Um, you have the cap locks on.
Girl coworker: What is that?
Guy coworker: The caps lock key on your keyboard?
Girl coworker: Oh, no! My computer is just all caps.
Guy coworker: No, just do this. (does it) See? Now you’re not in caps anymore.
Girl coworker: Oh my gosh! You are so smart! Oh! Thank you so much! Oooohhh! Let me retype my e‑mail to the help desk! “Please help us, help desk.” That’s so funny! “Please help us, help desk.”
Northern California
Mom and Dad Like to Keep Busy
Coworker #1: You’re so lucky you get to go home early!
Coworker #2: Nah, I have to go to my mom and dad’s house. I just hope I don’t get MRSA… Or crabs.
Everett, Washington
Anyone Else Just Have a Startling Realization about the Energizer Bunny?
Order entry lady: It’s like they’re chasing each other around the apartment!
Shipping manager: Maybe they are.
Order entry lady: Well, he’s a little [whispers] fag. So, you know…
Shipping manager: Oh, yeah! Them people stay up all night! They got extra energy!
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
…For Sex?
Female coworker: Are you busy? Do you have a sec?
Male coworker, distractedly: Sure, I have lots of secs. (looks up, realizes what he just said) Go away and come back and start this conversation over again, please.
Female coworker: Excuse me, but do you have a moment?
Rome, New York
