Female coworker: I woke up today and couldn’t find my panties.
Male coworker: So, did you find them finally?
Female coworker: No. And my husband disappeared…
Law office
New York, New York
Overheard by: julllully
Archive for the ‘Coworkers’ Category
Cue Ominous Background Music
Coworker #1: Dude, let’s go to the strip club next week for lunch.
Coworker #2: Hmmm, well… maybe, but I’m supposed to be the one in charge next week.
Coworker #1: Exactly.
Meridian, Indianapolis
10AM Project Meeting
Worker #1: Boy, you look tired…
Project Manager: Yeah, it’s been hectic. I need some of that geico balboa stuff.
Worker #1: Uh, ginko bilboa?
Project Manager: That’s what I said.
Worker #1: No, you said “geico balboa”.
Project Manager: What’s the difference?
Worker #1: Well, Geico is an insurance company, and Balboa is Rocky the boxer’s–as in the movie–last name.
Project Manager: Ha! I wonder if he gets a hard time for that.
Worker #1: He’s not a real person. Besides, I think what you meant was you needed some ginseng. Do you know what ginko bilboa is for?
Worker #2: Okay, seriously, how long is this meeting going to be?
6700 Hollister Road
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Damien Sebastiani
10AM Order an iPod
Woman: So you only listen to the Cardigans on your iPod while you work?
Man: Yeah, they make me feel like a 16 year old girl just after a hot shower, fresh and tingly all over.
1111 Fannin Street
Houston, Texas
How Irish Families Bond.
Coworker, on taking kids to get flu shots: When I took them, they were great. They only cried a little. My daughter said, “daddy, I feel safer doing shots with you.”
Grapevine, Texas
Whose Idea Were Tobacco Pacifiers, Anyway?
Products VP: Everyone who makes this crap is just as fucked as we are.
Finance VP: If only no one put this in their mouths…
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
9AM Back to Work
Sweaty, middle-aged man in running shorts: Hey,wait! Hey, wait! How old are you two?
Young business woman #1: Why?
Sweaty, middle-aged man in running shorts: I just wanted ask one of you out, but I can’t tell how old you are under your sunglasses.
Young business woman #2: Umm…no. We’re working.
Sweaty, middle-aged man: Oh, never mind.
2825 Eastlake Avenue East
Seattle, Washington
9AM It’s Like a Welcome Mat
Co-worker: Does the whole building smell like urine? Or is it just my cube?
1601 Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Take What, Exactly? No, Don’t Tell Me.
Cute gay guy: Tome Cruise and Katie Holmes were looking for an apartment on my street.
Female coworker: Oh, really?
Cute gay guy: Yeah, I live on Toorak Road. If they move there, I wanna steal Suri. And have crazy bum sex on my balcony! (demonstrates by thrusting in the air) Take that, Scientology!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Giggling
Career Tip: Find Out Which Colleagues Not to Joke With. And Don’t.
Coworker #1: It was amazing. He was the first blind man to climb mount Everest. He was in the news and everything.
Coworker #2: Did they say anything about his dog?
Coworker #1: What?
Waterloo
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Meesh
