Co-worker on phone: I’m sorry, can you say that again?…I’m sorry…I’m having some trouble understanding what you’re trying to say…Why don’t you have your boss call me and we can get this straightened out?
Hangs up.
Co-worker: Just go back to your motherfucking country…Christ.
839 Marshall Phelps Road
Windsor, Connecticut
Overheard by: Douchey Douchelton
Excited peon #1: Hey, did you know that Anna Nicole Smith died, like, months ago?!
Excited peon #2: Wow! Really? She’s the one that lost all that weight, right?
Excited peon #1: Yeah! How’d you like to be the medical examiner doing that autopsy?
480 Washington Boulevard
New Jersey
Young overly loud female coworker: Lots of women's uteruses fall out. (puts hand on extremely pregnant female coworker) Don't worry, that won't happen to you.
Bee Caves Road
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Just trying to eat my lunch
Attorney: Is this the drawer that’s broken?
Co-worker: Yes. I’ve already told you how to fix it. I mean, it’s not as serious as cancer.
Attorney: Thank you for that assessment.
1999 Harrison Street
Oakland, California
Guy #1: I heard she is a squatter.
Guy #2: Really, she has no place to live?
Guy #1: No, she squats above the toilet seat and goes to the bathroom. It gets everywhere so HR is going to talk to her.
Guy #2: Can you imagine what the bathroom in her house must look like?
9740 Irvine Boulevard
Irvine, California
IT: Yeah, seems like your floor plate is damaged, you’re going to have to clear your books so they can fix it.
Worker: “Books”? is that like cookies on your computer?
IT: …
4 Times Square
New York, NY
Overheard by: KaotiXX
Employee: Not to be ruder than I already am, but did she have a huge head? I mean, it was, like, ghetto-big.
Theater box office
Everett, Washington
Overheard by: I thought it was more ’80s than ghetto
Coworker #1: How was The Simpsons Movie?
Coworker #2: Pretty good.
Coworker #1: It’s not the cartoon version, is it?
Coworker #2: Uhh… Yeah.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Coworker #1: I got so mad at my daughter that I threw a spoon through my refrigerator.
Coworker #2: Through it?
Coworker #1: Well, I dented it.
Coworker #2: Oh, that's no big deal. Everyone I know has done that.
Center City
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Lead animator: Quit goofing off!
Animator: I’m not.
Lead animator: I said no goofing off! Get to work!
Animator: I am working.
Lead animator, hitting animator with poster: No talking! Get to work!
Animator: I am working!
Lead animator: [Picks up computer mouse, and throws it across the desk.] Get to work! No talking!
Las Cruces, New Mexico
Overheard by: pretty picture guy