The Ques­tion I Was Born to An­swer

Cowork­er, surf­ing the net: What the crap? Is every Pre­ston* in the world naked in their pro­file?

West Lafayette, In­di­ana

Why “Where’s the Sta­pler?” Can Be a Dan­ger­ous Ques­tion

Fe­male pro­fes­sion­al: If you push hard enough, you can get me to eat just about any­thing.

Marl­bor­ough, Mass­a­chu­setts

How Women End Up As Hugh Hefn­er’s Girl­friends: Ex­plained.

Cowork­er: He made me an of­fer I could eas­i­ly refuse… but I took it any­way.

Cleve­land, Ohio

Over­heard by: NotQuiteTh­e­God­Fa­ther

But That’s Re­al­ly More Like Young Adult Fic­tion

Cube dweller #1 (al­so a Pas­tor): I’ve al­ways want­ed to write a book and call it “Prat­falls in the Pul­pit”.
Cube dweller #2: “Crap Falls in your Pock­et?“
Cube dweller #1: Well, that’s ap­pro­pri­ate, too.

Madi­son, Wis­con­sin

Over­heard by: Tu­na

You Know You’re Get­ting Old When the Kid from Jer­ry Maguire Is Hav­ing Chil­dren of His Own

Char­i­ty work­er: His name was Bran­don*, and he was about six and he has Down Syn­drome and eye can­cer, so he has one glass eye, but you can’t tell. But some­times it plops out. He al­so needs a ma­jor hip re­place­ment, but he does walk most of the time. He can’t talk. He’s sooo cute.

Mel­bourne
Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: Bo­ra

So We Could Stalk Our Ex-Boyfriends On­line?

Of­fice la­dy to an­oth­er: And that’s why I think god cre­at­ed tech­nol­o­gy.

Puyallup, Wash­ing­ton

And Son of Sam Was a Dr. Seuss Char­ac­ter?

Smart girl: Okay, that guy was nice but re­al­ly kind of creepy.
Girl: Yeah, but he seemed harm­less enough.
Smart girl: Sure, but so did Ted Bundy.
Girl: Oh I love that guy!
Smart girl: Wait… what?
Girl: He’s the one on Mar­ried with Chil­dren, right?

Om­a­ha, Ne­bras­ka

Over­heard by: glad my gf is the smart one

…Eh?

Work­er #1, jok­ing­ly: That’s be­cause Trinida­di­ans are loud.
Work­er #2, of­fend­ed: That’s so ig­no­rant! You’re so gay!

Markham
On­tario
Cana­dia

You Are a Bad Man

Cube rat #1: You’ve got to be shit­ting me… My grand­ma is try­ing to add me on My­Space.
Cube rat #2: That’s sort of sweet.
Cube rat #1: I’m her sec­ond friend. I did­n’t know she knew what a com­put­er was…
Cube rat #2: Dude, pop her com­ment cher­ry!

1932 Wild­cat Canyon Road
San Diego, Cal­i­for­nia

Ac­tu­al­ly, Those Things Say ‘Hal­loween Par­ty’

Sec­re­tary: Well, I’m out for the rest of the day. I’ve got a doc­tor’s ap­point­ment.
Cowork­er: Oh, have fun!
Sec­re­tary: Yeah… Be­cause noth­ing says ‘par­ty’ like blood­work and pap smears…

401 Church Street
Nashville, Ten­nessee