Chick: My boyfriend and I love to beat the shit out of each other. But it’s okay, because we are both German.
Austin, Texas
Archive for the ‘Coworkers’ Category
And I’m Not 100% Sure about Kangaroos, Either
Pizza Hut driver: Would you rather fight a kangaroo or wolverine?
Pizza Hut CSR: Well, kangaroos are pretty tough, but wolverines aren’t real.
7th Street and Union Hills
Phoenix, Arizona
The Saliva Monologues
Female cube dweller: I'm saving your spit.
Male cube dweller: My spit is great!
Winnipeg
Canadia
Overheard by: the Student
4PM Find a Ride Home
Co-worker #1: What happened to [Joel]’s car? The hood is all smashed up all the way up to the windshield.
Co-worker #2: Not sure. Ask [John], he’s parked on the second level.
Co-worker #1: Second level? There is no second level.
Co-worker #2: Better tell [John] that.
60 Baylis Road
Melville, New York
Just Getting You Back for the Infamous Glitter Incident of ’05
Coworker entering another’s cube with hole-puncher, stack of paper, and beginning to punch holes: If I do this in my office, then there will be little paper circles all over my floor, and that’s really annoying.
1632 Da Vinci Court
Davis, California
All Women Need to Be Happy Is Everything Else
Younger female coworker, describing new boyfriend: The thing is, I don't know if that in the long run he would be happy with me.
Older female coworker: Oh, you know what men are like. All you have to do is pat them on the head once in a while and tell them that they're wonderful and they're happy.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: horrified that she's right
It's Like I'm a Virgin Again!
30-something coworker, happily: So they tell me it's herpes in my eye. I know! They've given me Zovirax for it.
ProRail
Utrecht
Belgium
Overheard by: Thomas van Alphen
It’s Been Oolong Time Since I Embarrassed Myself Like That
Agent: Oh, now I remember why I don’t usually drink pee. It always makes me have to go to the washroom… Tea. Tea! I meant tea!… Fuck you all.
1616 27th Avenue Northeast
Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Overheard by: Didn’t believe him
In Other Words, the Classic Bermuda Shorts
Female peon: Do I like the long and skinny ones or the short and fat ones?
Male peon: You like the short and fat ones.
Female peon: I thought I liked the long and skinny ones also…
Male peon: No, I like the long and skinny ones.
Hamilton
Bermuda
Ooh, or Maybe a Wicker Chair
Coworker eating twig cereal: I have eaten so much fiber today, when I get home, I’m gonna crap a wicker basket.
Rochester, New York