Archive for the ‘Coworkers’ Category

And He’d Only Hold the Bus Driver at Knifepoint Some Of the Time

Female coworker, about current object of infatuation: Oh…he is so cute, you have to see him. I just love him. I will bring in his mugshot.
Male coworker: He has a mugshot?
Female coworker: Yeah, but he only beats his girlfriends when he is on drugs. He is so sweet. He used to save me a seat on the bus when we were in school.

Mountville, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Mindy

The Tendrils That Escape My Bikini Are Just Advertising

Female employee #1: I thought the least I could do to get ready for my cruise is getting a pedicure.
Female employee #2: Are you going to a bikini wax too?
Female employee #1: No, getting a pedicure is already almost too girly for me.
Female employee #2: C’mon Andrea*, once you have it done, you will be amazed at how neat and pretty it can be down there.
Female employee #1: No way! I like to be “all natural,” including down there if you know what I mean.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Em-bare-ssed

I See Your Attempt at Humor, and I Refuse to Acknowledge It

Deskie #1: What’s that smell? Sulfur? Rotten eggs?
Deskie #2: I have it figured out: It’s Halloween, and all these girls are walking around with nothing covering areas which haven’t been exposed in public since last Halloween.
Deskie #1: I don’t get why that is relevant.

Front desk, Central Michigan University
Mount Pleasant, Michigan

Overheard by: Not A Deskie

You Know How Many Drinks $10,000 Will Buy?

Lady peon: My husband’s doctor told him that his liver is so bad that he has to quit drinking, so I’m going to quit with him. [Later] I can’t wait to have a couple beers tonight.
Confused coworker: I thought you said you were going to quit drinking with your husband!
Lady peon: Well, a few drinks won’t hurt him.

Columbiana, Ohio

Overheard by: ChatsMcGee