Attorney’s wife: I’m getting so fat.
Attorney: You’re not fat.
Attorney’s wife: Aw, well…
Attorney interrupts: You’re old. You just look fat.
319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky
Archive for the ‘Couples’ Category
Relax, I’m Just Horngry
Financial specialist, in front of his pregnant wife/coworker: God, I would nail someone if they had some bacon right now!
Wife/coworker: What the hell is wrong with you?
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: God Help Me
Why Does It Also Say “No Fat Chicks?”
Wife, reading advertisement: What is an erotic petting zoo?
Husband: A what?
Wife, louder: An erotic petting zoo!
Husband, looking: That says “exotic” petting zoo.
Wife: Oh, well…that makes more sense.
Pigeon Forge, Tennessee
So How Do You Wrap Your Meat, Then?
Woman: Gary*, do you have any peach paper?
Gary, flabbergasted: Peach paper?! I’m a man!
Madison Street
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: jimBO
Let’s All Brush Up on Our Speakerphone Etiquette
IT guy on phone: Be ready when I get home.
(clicks it to speakerphone)
IT guy’s wife: Well, that is fine but I did not put the butt plug in the freezer yet.
IT guy: (clicks speaker phone off) Hey! Sorry, I know you hate the speakerphone…
Naval Base
Pensacola, Florida
It the Future, You'll Be Able to Just Click a Box on the Internet
Girl applying for marriage license, to fiance: You sure you want to do this?
Fiance to girl: Who else am I gonna marry?
Girl to clerk: Is this the same place you come for divorce too?
Clerk of Court Office
Titusville, Florida
Overheard by: Tricia
The Best Part Is, She Totally Just Rickrolled Him.
Woman arguing on phone with husband: Calm down, please. I'm sending you a picture of a funny cat. Go look at the cat.
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
It’s For Really Long Plaques
Puzzled Irish girl: Look at that! Magnetic bookmarks! What a stupid idea!
Puzzled boyfriend: Why?
Puzzled Irish girl: Well, where are you ever going to find a metal book?
Puzzled boyfriend: Hmm, yeah, you’re right.
Perth, Australia
Overheard by: Gina
I See We Have Much to Teach One Another
Guy: Have you seen To Catch a Predator?
Girl: I've read To Kill a Mockingbird.
Savelli's
Knoxville, Tennessee
Let’s Say, ‘Within This Fiscal Year’
Dad: I swear, I am going to break her arm by the time she is two.
Mom: She is two.
Dad: Three, then.
Outback Steakhouse
Green Brook, New Jersey