What We Imagine Dining with John McCain Is Like

Spikey-haired waiter: I’ll be right back with your check.
Cranky old man: I hope all his hair falls out!
Wife: Calm down!
Cranky old man: It’s a fad!
(spikey-haired waiter brings check)
Cranky old man: Oh! Mints!

Kalamazoo, Michigan

They Depend on Seeing-Eye Metrosexuals

Man: It’s green!
Woman: It’s blue.
Man: You know men are color blind.
Woman: Not *real* men:
Man: The big ones are!

Penn Plaza
New York City, New York

Overheard by: That’s what she said

I See We Have Much to Teach One Another

Guy: Have you seen To Catch a Predator?
Girl: I’ve read To Kill a Mockingbird.

Savelli’s
Knoxville, Tennessee

The Best Part Is, She Totally Just Rickrolled Him.

Woman arguing on phone with husband: Calm down, please. I’m sending you a picture of a funny cat. Go look at the cat.

Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia

Two Words: Vasectomy, Vasectomy

A man holding a child’s hand meets up with a woman holding another child’s hand.

Man and woman, simultaneously: I thought he was with you!
Man, turning to go back inside: I told you this would happen if you let them outnumber us.

Outside Bloomingdale’s, 59^th Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: Kim Siddorn

So the Purple Sombrero Is for Style?

Young wife to husband: You know the guy across the street, Jose*? I think he’s gay.
Husband: I don’t think he’s gay, I think he’s just Hispanic.

Belleview, Florida

Overheard by: He married into the family, I swear

Are You Hitting on Me?

Woman to man: You’re like, one of those, like, glass dolls, and there’s like, an owl, in a shop.

Monroe, Toledo

Overheard by: Katy

It the Future, You’ll Be Able to Just Click a Box on the Internet

Girl applying for marriage license, to fiance: You sure you want to do this?
Fiance to girl: Who else am I gonna marry?
Girl to clerk: Is this the same place you come for divorce too?

Clerk of Court Office
Titusville, Florida

Overheard by: Tricia

Oooh, Little Cuts!

Husband: They have fajitas.
Wife: I don’t like ordering Mexican food from non-Mexican restaurants.
Husband: You don’t like anything.
Wife: I like lots of things!
Husband: Liar!
Wife, after repeatedly hitting husband with menu: I liked that!

TGIFriday’s
Bowling Green, Kentucky

12PM Lunch

Attorney’s wife: I’m getting so fat.
Attorney: You’re not fat.
Attorney’s wife: Aw, well…
Attorney interrupts: You’re old. You just look fat.

319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky