Archive for the ‘Consultants’ Category

Well, Great, Glad You’re Right on Top of This

Blonde re­cep­tion­ist: Do you have any Krazy Glue?
Para­le­gal: I don’t think so. Why?
Blonde re­cep­tion­ist: My tooth fell out.
Para­le­gal: I think you need to see a den­tist.
Blonde re­cep­tion­ist: No, my teeth are al­ways falling out and I just Krazy Glue them back in.
Para­le­gal: Krazy Glue? Maybe that’s why you’ve been get­ting all those headaches…
Blonde re­cep­tion­ist: No, that’s be­cause I quit smok­ing back in Feb­ru­ary.

Law of­fice
Great Neck, New York

Over­heard by: Big Lar­ry

The Cow Was Found to Be Neg­li­gent

Lawyer #1: I can’t wait to get rid of those cows.
Lawyer #2: I thought you liked your cows.
Lawyer #1: Well, I did, but then one of them got a lit­tle too close and now I have a large bruise on my right thigh.
Lawyer #2: You were just too prox­i­mate.

401 Con­gress Av­enue
Austin, Texas

Why the Pres­i­dent Has a Press Sec­re­tary

CSR in­ter­rupt­ing pro­duc­tion meet­ing: Hey, sor­ry, but Dan* from XYZ com­pa­ny wants to know when he can ex­pect his job.
Tech su­per­vi­sor, scream­ing: Tell him when hell fuck­ing freezes over! Je­sus! I’m fuck­ing tired of these pushy cus­tomers! And their shit­ty lit­tle jobs!
CSR: Okay… That’s uh… He’s uh… stand­ing right over there…
Tech su­per­vi­sor: [Stunned silence.]Boss: Well, you can go take care of that one, bud­dy… He’s all yours.

1st Av­enue South
Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Mouth opened, foot in­sert­ed